Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Zou Bisou Bi-Zhu Zhu

So Audrey came upon my iPhone, which was logged into eBay, which is linked up to my PayPal account, which is linked to my credit card, and could have bought anything her little heart desired.

What did she choose? (HINT: The photo to the left ain't there for nuttin'.) How did I discover it? Why did it almost create an international incident?

Friday, May 18, 2012

M is for the Mac 'n Cheese You Gave Me

A little late, but this was among the Mother's Day gifts in Audrey's overstuffed backpack last Friday. Over the years, I've gotten a lot of stuff with hand and/or foot prints, painted flowerpots, and various cards or artwork featuring her photo. What was in your kid's backpack?

Am I not funny? Am I not a clown
Do I not make you laugh?

My husband is still bitching about this one. COOK???

So adamant about the cooking that 
she registered a write-in vote.

Awwww....I do know how to make mac and cheese.

Great. I could really use a new car too. 

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

You Can't Spell Mommy Wars Without Mommy

You've probably heard enough about the Mommy Wars by now, and read way too many posts about that stupid Time magazine cover story. Well, too bad because here's one more. Hey, at least I didn't use that odious cover photo on my post.

Anyhoo, my latest article on the Patch talks about my experiences in the trenches of this war before Audrey was diagnosed. After she was diagnosed, I had better things to do than compete with the women in my mothers' group over milestones that Audrey wasn't going to be meeting until their kids were well into their Ivy League-prep years.


Tuesday, April 17, 2012

All The World's a Stage...

...and, in times of crisis, our friends and family merely d-bags. Or a-holes. Or f-wads. Take your pick. Well, not all of them all of the time. Just some of them most of the time.

I'm over on the Patch today talking about the roles that people tend to play in our lives, especially when we need them most. The Doomsayer, The Competitor, The Denier. I hope for your sake that you've also got an Eternal Optimist or maybe even a Hot Young Pool Boy in the mix.

Click HERE to read all about it.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Merry Autism Awareness Day!

Today is World Autism Awareness day!

One of the goals of this day is to encourage early detection, diagnosis and intervention...and completely not in keeping with that spirit, hop over to the Patch and read my foolproof and politically-incorrect guide to denying that your child has autism. You're welcome!

Click HERE says Cleo, Queen of Da Nile....

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Baby Mozart: A Dissertation

Watching Baby Mozart

I like to watch Baby Mozart.
In Baby Mozart I don't like the puppet dog.
I only like Maria.
In the castle toy,
I like the egg sound.

I cannot like the boo boo boo sound.
In the castle toy, I like the yellow ball.
I cannot like the other colors like the green ball, the blue ball, or the red ball.

When I am not on Youtube
I can go to Google.
When I am not on Google
I can go back to Youtube! :)

I like the fruits, pets, dolls.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Moves Like Jagger

This was our first night in Florida, after dinner in downtown Disney. The first video features Audrey in the background snubbing someone trying to dance with her while Grace Anne gets jiggy in the foreground, and closes with Audrey (what else) copying Grace Anne's moves...

Miles and miles of gangly limbs....

And the coup de grace, Grace Anne busts a hoe-down move that Audrey doesn't not have the motor skills to copy....