Monday, May 31, 2010

Summertime Blues

I pulled a wet bathing suit out of the crack of my ass more than once this past weekend, which can only mean one thing...summer is officially here. I am not a fan. I hate feeling fat in my summer clothes, the constant shaving, the extreme heat and humidity, and chit-chatting with the neighbors. Which should tell you what a hairy, unsociable yeti-like creature I turn into during the winter months. Mmmmmm...winter.

I would never ever be seen in a bathing suit except for the fact that Audrey loves going to the pool, beach, or water park. It is just about the only activity that thoroughly knocks her on her ass so that she sleeps more than her usual amount, which is always no-more-no-less than precisely 10 hours. There are only 3 months to take advantage of it in these parts, so I feel that I have to suck it up/in for her benefit.

Audrey loves to go in the water, but also has a terrible fixation of watching other people come splashing down a water slide or jumping off of the diving board. She wants to stand there poolside watching the others while jumping up and down with excitement, and would do so for hours if I let her. A new wrinkle this year was that after watching the kids diving, she decided that she wanted to give it a try. This was a 1-meter springboard into 12 feet of water. She can't swim and there was no way that she would ever do it.

Whereas it seems to me that most typical kids are either total scaredy-cats or fearless daredevils, Audrey has this thing where she thinks she wants to do these really dangerous things, but doesn't really want or have the skills to do so. Sometimes I've had to go so far as to let her do something just to prove a point, but you can't do that with everything. One time she would not let me hold her back from running headlong into icy-cold Northern California surf, so I let her go. And she screamed her fool head off and was deathly afraid of it after that.

But I can only take it so far...I can't let her run into traffic just to prove to her that getting hit by a car really hurts. When she thinks that she wants to climb a tree that has a 10 foot circumference and whose lowest branch hangs about 15 feet off the ground, I say "go for it". And she'll walk over and sort of hug the trunk, and after a few seconds turn to me and say "help". And then get completely pissed off when I tell her that I can't.

So Saturday at the pool she was adamant about the diving board. We were with Lauren, who went so far as to ask the lifeguard if they would let her get into the diving well to catch her. Needless to say, I wasn't making that offer. They wouldn't let her though, and Audrey was thoroughly annoyed that she couldn't get in line with the other kids. This was another situation where it was difficult to let her go through with it just to prove that she would never actually do it. Had I done so, she would have climbed the ladder and maybe walked a couple of steps on the diving board, and then no doubt froze up and flipped out. Meaning that I would have had to elbow my way through the line of surly kids and shimmy my butt up there to get her down.

Once she recovered from her disappointment, Lauren managed to get her to jump off of the side of the 4-foot pool with the other 2-year olds. She had never even done that much before, so don't ask me why she thought she could go from zero to half-gainer without any stops in between. Such is the mind of an autistic child.

Well, I've survived Memorial Day weekend...only 152 days left til Halloween!


  1. What is it about going in the water that knocks kids out completely? I hauled Gunne down to the lake today to cool us both off. He came home and passed right out. Not a peep out of him yet.

  2. I know! It is fool-proof and universal amongst all kids. So I guess there is one benefit to summer...

  3. We hope to see you at the pool this summer!