one of my first posts back in April, I wrote about the constant drinking references in some popular parenting books like Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay, et al. Back in those olden days of 87 days ago, I was only checking out my library bookshelves and Amazon for evidence to support my theory that parents of typical children are "a bunch of drunken pussies", as I so eloquently put it back then. Little did I know that I needn't have looked further than the blogosphere, where Vodkamom is one of the most popular mommy bloggers and the drinking references are as plentiful as the children's pseudonym "Peanut".
But even more so than having a taste for the hooch, have you noticed the references to the crazy? A significant portion of bloggers are zany, loony tunes, stark raving mad, insane, stressed-out, neurotic, obsessive, bonkers, drooling mad, bat-shit, nut jobbers. It seems that if you are not running down your street screaming and naked with your hair on fire, you need not apply to be a mommy blogger.
Our culture has done quite a 180 from the Diary of a Mad Housewife days when women would no sooner admit to lunacy than they would leave the house without lipstick on. They quietly horked back their "mother's little helpers" and kept the crazy to themselves. And while that was horribly unhealthy and sometimes even tragic, and it is generally a good thing that women today can freely cop to the stresses of motherhood, not every little thing that happens in the course of a day spent with a child can be technically classified as "crazy". Like if something happens to 50% of mothers on a daily basis...guess what? Not that crazy.
I'm a fine one to talk, you say? After all, the crazy is right there in the name of my blog. Unhinged. Yeah, I see it. What about it? You wanna try to out-crazy a mother of child with autism. Go ahead, make my day.
Here's a little primer on the crazy arithmetic for you:
Your baby boy hosing you down during a diaper change = not crazy.
Our kids shoving their noses into our pits to get a deep whiff of BO in front of a God and country = crazy.
Your toddler having a tantrum in Target = happens 873 times per day in every Target on the face of the earth = completely unbonkers.
Us having to find a way to Target while making only left turns = nutty.
Your kid smearing themselves from head to toe with Go-gurt = quit trying to act like it's crazy because you know it's totally cute or you wouldn't have posted the picture.
Our kids smearing themselves from head to toe with shit = the least cute thing in the history of the world.
For those of you joining our blog in progress, I've written a few posts about the stresses of motherhood as documented in typical parenting books and added the special needs parenting perspective. So far I've covered:
Competition with other mothers
I'm going to be wrapping this exercise up with one more post about children's birthday parties, and then I'll rest my case and let the kangaroo court render their verdict.