Dani accepted the award by listing 5 things that she is not...just to shake things up from the usual "tell us about yourself". I was reminded of her list this week when I realized one big whopping thing that I am not (I'll get back to you on the other 4).
I am not a risk taker.
See, I was gonna enter this essay contest over at Real Simple magazine. It's called the Life Lessons Contest and you have to write an essay finishing the sentence, "I never thought I'd..." Easy peasy, right? I can wring a few more drops out of the old autism crying towel with both eyes crossed and one hand up my....wait, what?
Have you ever taken a huge, surprising risk? Did you climb a mountain? Go back to school? Get married (again)? Tell us about it: Enter Real Simple’s Third-Annual Life Lessons Essay Contest.Oh, snap. They're talking about doing something that you never thought you'd do by choice. As you can see from the title of my blog, I've been an unwilling participant in my current gambit. Sure, I never thought I'd be where I am today, but not because I rolled the dice.
Hmmm...there must be something I could write about. Let's see if their examples jog anything for me. Climbed a mountain? Yeah, I did an 11,000-footer in California. I cried for the last 2,000 feet. Or five hours if you want to put it in those terms. "I CAN'T DO-OO-OO IT. DON'T MAKE ME DO-OO-OO IT. OH GOD TAKE ME NOW-OH-OH." Then we attempted Mount Shasta (14K) and I got the AMS at 10,000 feet. Acute Mountain Sickness. I was flat on my back and I'm told that I woke the entire camp in the middle of the night screaming bloody murder. I don't remember anything after I sharted my North Face thermals with the five Chocolate Buzz energy shots that it took to get me that high.
Go back to school? Dude, I barely made it through the first time without having a nervous breakdown.
Get married again? See above.
I'd have to dig deep to come up with something on this topic. Well, there was that one time when I took a chance on using an expired Dunkin' Donuts coupon. And they let me too. Man, when I think of what could have happened. They could have totally....made me pay full price. Swish! Yeah, I could definitely get 1,500 words out of that.
Don't let my awesomeness deter you from entering the contest yourself. C'mon, who's in?