So my last post covered the controversy in the UK of how some disabled adults were spending their welfare checks. Here is what I imagine Audrey will be spending her money on when she is (God willing) living on her own and able to make her own decisions. Hopefully there will be money. From somewhere. Either the government, or an actual job, or from the special needs trust that I set up for her when my book finally gets published and sets the world on fire.
- Cheetos, Doritos, her own cotton candy machine, ice cream, Pie of the Month Club membership, milkshakes, pizzas, chocolate, brownies, cakes, caramel corn, french fries, potato chips, white bread a la mode, peanuts, and a high-fructose corn syrup IV drip. To get her parents back for years of denial.
- Robots. Including a robot version of me for after I'm gone. Robot-Me will handle all of the cooking, cleaning, and laundry, because I was too busy getting her to answer to her name to teach her those things. She will be an uncanny version of me, and thus will occasionally cease to function and spend entire days in bed.
Disco balls, waterfalls,
& fountains in every
Plus automatic doors
& escalators instead of stairs.