There has been a lot in the news lately about bullying, after a rash of bullying-related suicides. Audrey has yet to be bullied, but I live in fear of it. It's something that I've always assumed that we will have to deal with someday. I had to deal with it as a neurotypical kid, so why would I expect that she'd get off the hook?
When I was Audrey's age, I stood up to a boy 5 years my senior who was mercilessly making fun of my older sister. His name was Kiki Pessetto and he had a glass eye. My mother called him "Dead Eye" around the house, so when I called him out on the school bus I said, "You leave my sister alone you Dead Eye!" Needless to say, I was the one who got in trouble with Rick the bus monitor. Rick was such a pussy, and had I known that word at the time I'm sure that I would have used it.
The moral of that story is that the Italian half of me sometimes takes over with a vengeance. Literally. I have a lot of vengeance fantasies and they are usually not non-violent. So not only do I live in fear and loathing of the day that anyone bullies Audrey, but really the whole of society should. Not only was I raised around a bunch of crazy Italians, I also watched a lot of Sopranos. So in my head I say things like "You go near my daughter again and I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck." I got more too. About what I'll do to their dog and their mother. You get the idea.
But as with most things, reality never matches the fantasy. Yeah, I'm a big talker. Here's an example of what usually transpires:
OK, so this wasn't exactly a bullying personal attack on Audrey, but I was still pissed. But I was too busy consoling Audrey to run down the little assholes to perform the aforementioned beheading and neck-defecation. Audrey was so rattled that we had to leave the pumpkin farm immediately. The back story is that she had had a nosebleed in the car on the way there. These always freak her out, and she had just stopped obsessively checking her nose when they clocked her right on it.
In my defense, I had successfully tormented some other kids earlier in the day. I love to torment kids. I get this from my mother. We were standing in line for one of those giant, blowup slides. I have to wait in line with Audrey or else she will either cut to the head of the line or stand there and let everyone else cut in front of her. One kid and his friend cut in front of us. I called out the one kid and sent him packing, but the other kid wouldn't budge.
Me (as I'm constantly poking him in the back and head): "Hey you cut don't cut no cuts why'd you cut go to the back get outta here no cuts go back and see your friend git scram..."
Kid: "I didn't cut!"
Girl who works there as line tender: "Yeah, you did."
During this scene, I turn around to see an ASD kid that Audrey went to preschool with and his two parents. I hadn't seen them in like a year, and they were laughing their heads off at me and giving me the thumbs up. Yeah, we gotta stick up for each other in this Army.