Monday, November 29, 2010

Follow The Bulging Bag: The Basics of Cake Decorating

My legion of long-time reader will remember that one of Audrey's former obsessions was watching YouTube videos of Miss Betty's Kitchen.  Well, she has since moved on from Miss Betty's amateur-hour fruit dip, which was basically just slapping some cream cheese and Cool Whip together, and onto big league cake decorating.  Her newest obsession is watching how-to videos from "Liv Hansen of Betty Crocker's Kitchen and Howdini.com".

Audrey's favorite videos include the one showing the basics of frosting and then several others that show her decorating specific theme cakes...a mermaid, guitar, blue jeans, train, panda bear, butterfly, barn and farm animals, and a rubber ducky.  OK, that's more videos than I thought.  Oops. 

In my defense, these are very educational videos.  Yeah, educational.  That's the ticket.  I for one have learned all kinds of terminology that I have heretofore had no need for.  Terms such as "shell border", "couplers", and "crumb coat".  Liv is fairly obsessed with crumbs.  And minimizing them.  She hates crumbs.  Oh Lord, the crumbs.

One unfortunate side effect of watching these videos are the lines that Audrey has cherry-picked out of them to repeat ad nauseum:
"Squeeze and hold the bag in place until it starts to bulge. Then release the pressure and repeat."

"If this happens, it means that you are squeezing too hard and not moving the bag fast enough.  If this happens, you're not squeezing hard enough and you're moving too fast.  So keep practicing going back and forth."

"Let's try a different tip and see what it can do."
Hopefully someone from school is reading this and feeling very relieved to find out the source of her scripts.

My friend Autism Mom Rising has a great post up about her son's love of cooking and her hopes that it will be a useful obsession that could lead to a calling and career later in life.  I would love to think that Audrey would follow in Liv's footsteps and be able to call herself a "Professional Baker", but I'm afraid that her calling is more around the eating than the creating and her path will lead to morbid obesity rather than a productive career.

Anyway, just as I was feeling semi-inspired to nurture this fervent interest of hers, she informed me that her favorite thing about the videos is the Howdini logo that bookends them...which is the letter "h" in a circle spinning around.  Yeah, I've heard that staring at spinning letters on the computer is exactly how Rachael Ray got started.


19 comments:

  1. Hehehe... I used to work in a bulk food store and was supposed to take the "professional cake decorating" course. Do you know it's a whole.... thing.... like hamburger university?? Oy... ducked outta that by the skin of my teeth. ;o) Hopefully you at least get some cool desserts out of this interest, before she segues to spinning graphic art. 8D

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  2. I admit that I love those cake decorating shows. Unfortunately, Moe much prefers The Backyardigans to food network. He does, however, share Audrey's love of eating cupcakes. He has hardly any words and maybe 6 signs, but one of them is "cookie."

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  3. Did you ever notice Rachel Ray is always happy. She's always smiling. Makes me sick.

    Audrey is conniving a secret recipe for the perfect cup cake with pink and purple icing. She's absorbing everything she can. It'll be her masterpiece! And maybe a Guinness World Book event!

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  4. That's hilarious. Oh the random scripting. I've often felt like I should be pinning an explanatory note to Caleb's backpack every day so the teachers won't call DCF just yet.

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  5. So funny, for people hearing the script out of context! I bet Audrey would be a million more times engaging than Rachel Ray!

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  6. Ha Ha Ha :D I've been trying to find a script for Daniel to recite about how awesome his mom is. Any suggestions? :)

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  7. Every famous person starts somewhere!

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  8. My God! The pressure you must be under, come Birthday time! (the pressure is from me. I will be expecting something spectacular at her Birthday party)

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  9. I was going to suggest you try baking with her to see if it is a real interest or if it's just the logos. Then I thought about my own life with Griffin and think it's most likely just the logos and the quasi-dirty talk about squeezing bags that she likes. Oh well.

    That doesn't mean you shouldn't get in the kitchen and bake once in a while. Yeah, I made a "women belong in the kitchen" joke.

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  10. Thanks for the link there lady.

    This post is hilarious!

    I asked Alex if he'd like to be a gluten free baker when he grew up. He got all giddy. Then I told him I'd move to wherever he goes to baking school, after which I promptly stopped talking cuz no kid wants to think about mom going away to school with him. So, I changed the subject and talked about how I'd get us a commercial kitchen & we'd start a business......

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  11. That's really funny. I gotta work on my autie dude to make his obsessions work for me!!! XXX

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  12. That's funny! And kids have such a knack for repeating phrases in the most unsuitable places!!


    xx Jazzy

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  13. well maybe she has a career ahead of her as a graphic designer ;)

    Love the new script, by the way!

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  14. I love this - that duck cake is amazing. Seriously, I can't frost a sheet cake right so...

    I'm your newest follower and love your blog. :) So, not a long time reader but hoping to get that award one day.

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  15. I'm so glad I no longer need to sign up at Michael's for their cake decorating class. Instead, I can just listen to Audrey's tips while I'm decorating Georgia's birthday cupcakes this week.. I'm going to try a different tip and see what it will do.

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  16. Those scripts have got to be awesome at school! I loved hearing what my students would come up with, and how they would use it in different settings to communicate something. I never did decode what a sweet five year old was trying to tell us when he threw his arms open wide and announced "Welcome to America!"....perhaps he meant "we have visitors in the basement again who do not have green cards"?
    Who knows, Audrey may just develop a skill in cooking and baking from her obsessions...or can be encouraged towards one. If she knows there is a yummy purple cupcake (and maybe a clip of a spinning h) at the end of the job, she might just dive in! :) Or she may end up fascinated with design and computers amidst all the human stuff. :)

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  17. Ashlyn has been obsessed with food network for years and her love for eating strongly outweighs her love for cooking. I had hopes for a cooking career but her impulsiveness to eat the batter/dough/whatever it is, is way too strong for her to survive cooking school.

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  18. I love the shit she comes up with! She's fucking awesome!!

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  19. I chose you for the Stylish Blogger Award!
    To see what to do go:

    http://theglamourouslifeofanarmywife.blogspot.com/2010/11/i-won-award-i-feel-so-warm-and-fuzzy.html

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