Monday, November 22, 2010

Guest Blogger: Big Daddy Autism

Today I'm honored to feature a guest post from Big Daddy Autism.  This is his payback to me for the post I wrote for him last week.  Let's make him feel welcome and not accuse him of being a child-abusing attention-whore!  I said NOT.

Daily Interrogation:  Tires Edition

When I asked Lynn to guest post on my blog, I never thought I would be returning the favor so soon.  I figured she'd take a few weeks to get back to me, there would be some back and forth, and it would be January by the time I would have to come up with something brilliant for her blog.  What I didn't know was that Lynn does not  share my love of procrastination. 

Also, unlike Lynn, I am not so much a writer as I am a storyteller.  Nowadays, my stories come from my conversations with Griffin - my 13 year old autistic son.  I am kind of at his mercy when it comes to blogging material so, most days, I follow him around with a notebook waiting for him to say something funny.  Luckily, the boy came through for me today.

This morning I had an appointment to bring Mrs. Big Daddy's vehicle in for service at the dealership.  The plan was to bring it in after dropping Griffin off at school and then wait for it to be done.  Even though it does not affect him in any way, Griffin insists on being informed, well in advance, of such appointments.  It does not matter that he will be in school.  He needs to know what I am doing at all times.  My schedule is of critical importance to him.

For whatever reason, I forgot to notify the boy of my appointment and, since telling him the morning of the event  would risk serious anxiety or, worse, a catastrophic  meltdown, I decided to sneak this one by him.  Unfortunately, Griffin saw me carry a magazine and my notebook (for guest post ideas) out to the car that morning.  The interrogation was off and running.

Griffin:  What are you doing after you bring me to school?"
Me:  "Nothing much.   Probably going back home."
Griffin:  "Why you say 'probably'?  Why you have your notebook?"
Me:  "I don't know.  I might want to write down funny stuff you say."
Griffin:  "While you are driving me to school?  You are going to write funny stuff while you are driving?"
Me:  "Um, I don't know.  I just brought it.  I'm not sure why."
Griffin:  "Are you going to read your magazine while you are driving me to school?"

This line of questioning continued for about three or four more traffic lights until guilt (about lying to him), exhaustion, and frustration took over.

Me:  "Aaaarrrghh.  Okay, Griff.  I am actually going to take Mommy's car in for service after I drop you off at school .  That's why I brought the notebook and magazine.   So I would have something to do while I waited."

The moment the words left my mouth, I regretted it.  I should've kept lying to the kid.  There were only a few more blocks to go and he would have been at school, none the wiser of my trip to the dealership.  But no, I had to blurt it out.  At this point, his interrogation took on a new fervor and direction.

Griffin:  "Is her car broken?  What does services mean?"
Me:  "Her car is fine.  It just needs the oil changed and air in the tires.  Stuff like that."
Griffin:  "But, but, but, but there is air in the tires."
Me:  "I know. They just check the air and other stuff."
Griffin:  "Are you getting new air in the tires?  Why do the tires need new air?  What is wrong with the old air in the tires?"
Me:  "Um, it's not really new air.  They just make sure the tires have enough air in them.  And they check  the oil and stuff like that."
Griffin:  "I like the air in the tires.  I do not want new air.  Why you put your hand on your forehead Daddy?  Why are you giggling?  Do you need to calm down?"

For the next several minutes, between his rapid fire questions about tires and air, I tried my best to explain what getting a vehicle serviced meant.   Finally, as he got out of the car at school, he cheerfully exclaimed,
"Have fun with the tires Daddy!"

19 comments:

  1. I'm giggling, too. I'm glad you made it without a meltdown! I never know for sure when that golden moment might be...after it's too early to tell them something and before there's not enough time to process it. I never appreciated how many fine lines I could dance around before we joined this crazy new world of ASD. I'm learning so much about myself. And, a new development for me, is that I actually like a few things I'm discovering. =)

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  2. That is an AWESOME conversation! He's a good observer. I love the concern he had for the old air in the tires. I'm glad you had your notebook.

    My son (8) and I had a conversation about medicine last night. He had a sore arm from playing some wii games at a friends house. I told him I could give him some medicine. He replied...
    Boy: You mean Ass-sprayne?
    Me: Um yeah, sort of
    Boy: I don't want any of that stuff
    Thinking to myself... Well sure when you say it like that, nobody would want it! : )

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  3. Griffin makes me giggle! I don't want new air in the tires either.
    I can't believe you even attempted to sneak something past this obvious sleuth!

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  4. OMG, I love it! It always astounds me that people can have conversations like this with their Autistic kids, because we are so not that verbal. Makes me wonder if this is the kind of stuff mine would LOVE to ask if he could.

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  5. Great guest post, you child-abusing media whore!

    I think Griffin has a future working in the police, questioning people about their whereabouts. He'll have people confessing their crimes within minutes!

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  6. Ahh the questions about plans. I have one child that is VERY interested in knowing the "family" plans at all times on a weekly basis, and one that could give a crap.(I mean my hair could be on fire and she wouldn't really be interested in knowing any of the details about my blazing head) Needless to say having them each one on one is usually a refreshing change from the other :)

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  7. "I like the air in the tires. I do not want new air. Why you put your hand on your forehead Daddy? Why are you giggling? Do you need to calm down?"

    Can't talk too busy laughing :D Jen

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  8. Oh, man. My son is only 8 but this is my future, isn't it? Endless questions and panicky attempts to avoid meltdowns; but no matter how much you prepare you're not going to see them all coming. At least this one worked out for you... until next time....

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  9. That's a great story!!! LOL. I have a 12 year old Aspie and it sounds just like him!

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  10. Awesome guest post! When I saw that Big Daddy was going to be posting, I was really excited - his comments are always hilarious. He definitely did not disappoint.

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  11. I just love Griffin stories. Griffin frequently asks the questions we should all be asking. I, for one, am convinced this whole "servicing" of the car is a giant sham too. Clearly the old air in the tires is JUST FINE. Of course, that could also have something to do with the fact that the engine basically fell out of my last car.

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  12. I sometimes tell people I have to change the air in my tires when I'm asked to go to a place I don't want to go. I get the same questions. What is it about air in tires????

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  13. I loved AutismMomRising's comment. Just had to put that out there.

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  14. Love how your boy's brain thinks. Good stuff - great post.

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  15. It sounds like Xander and Griffin are cut from a very similar cloth.

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  16. Totally pimping your blog post, Big Daddy, to say that I will be giving away "A Regular Guy" by Laura Shumaker in a couple of days. (Griffin reminds me a little of Laura's Matthew.)

    Barbara

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  17. You and Griffin have a great relationship. I say he's lucky to have you for a dad.

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  18. Do you need to calm down? Love when we hear our own words through our kids. My son doesn't talk, so I'm safe. For now.

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