On the way to the North Pole, one of Santa's elves read The Polar Express. The book describes eating "candies with nougat centers as white as snow...and hot chocolate as thick and rich as melted chocolate bars". We got a stale cookie and a carton of chocolate milk.
Then we arrived at the North Pole train station. Did you know that the North Pole has a Walter Payton's Roundhouse? We were greeted by Santa (who everyone knows loves his microbrews and hot wings) and led into the station where a(nother) fat man in a green-and-red sequined vest juggled and rode a unicycle for our viewing pleasure.
What? You say you'd really like to see some pictures of our journey? Well, I'm gonna need you to make some noise to show me that you believe! C'mon everybody! Ring! Those! Bells! Clap! Your! Hands! OK, shut it. Momma's got a ragin' graine.
|The trip was very educational. We learned that the |
route to the North Pole runs through burnt out
warehouse districts and a Port-A-Potty drop-off lot.
|I couldn't hear a word that she was saying even though she |
was standing right in front of me and had a speaker pack on.
Denizens of the North Pole:
|Santa always chooses Metra when traveling |
to the Chicago area. Metra: The only way to fly.