Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Sh*t My Daughter Says

 "Where are the grains?"

Audrey is learning about food groups in school, and now knows that there is a single word for all of her favorite foods.

I couldn't understand what she was saying at first because she was talking with her mouth full of non-grains.  I thought that she was saying "Where are the brains?"  Also a legitimate question in this household.




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Said while standing in front of an end table covered with crap:

"Look at the iPhone and all this human stuff."

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"I want today to be yesterday is Thursday."

Audrey's version of TGIF is TGIYIT:  Thank God It's Yesterday Is Thursday!

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"Want me to say it?"

She says this to me all. the. time.  Meaning that she wants me to say a certain something.  It's some kind of a stim where she gets stuck on me saying certain things in a certain way.  It can range from me commenting on something in a book ("Ooh look at those pretty cupcakes") or repeating some random thing back to her that she has just said to me ("Momma likes the long noodles."  She's talking about spaghetti, pervs.)

Another popular choice is for me to harshly scold her stuffed Minnie Mouse doll.  Nothing makes Audrey happier than when I grab Minnie by the shoulders and say stuff like "Minnie, you're making me VERY MAD.  You've been a BAD MOUSE.  Minnie, you're getting a TIME OUT!"  Audrey thinks that this is the funniest thing ever.  Minnie doesn't seem to mind much because no matter what I say she just sits there with that semi-hysterical grin on her face.  I think she's into it.  The whole thing does make me a little nervous for our potential trip to Disney in the spring.  Let's hope whoever is playing the costumed Minnie that day had a healthy, well-adjusted childhood.

36 comments:

  1. I love when you post these type of blogs because Audrey seriously cracks me up!

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  2. I love it. Coincidentally I just posted sh*t my son says. He was talking about zombie cats and Lego zombies. "Where are the brains?" is also a legitimate question in my house.

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  3. I love it! Hannah's stuck on saying ipod (she rotates through a few words at a time, thankfully 'Mom!' is also making the cut at the moment, in context even) and she says it all the time. People usually think she's asking for something, no, she's just saying ipod over and over.

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  4. Poor Minnie! I should try that with one of my daughter's stuffed animals. I think it would horrify her and make her cry! She loves to pretend they're real!

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  5. Son called spaghetti long noodles too! That's funny!

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  6. Xander laughs hysterically at anyone being scolded and then loudly exclaims, "THAT BOY NEEDS A TIME-OUT!!!!" One day someone's going to clock him.

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  7. We really need to get Griffin and Audrey into a conversation. On video.

    Btw, Minnie does likes it rough. The duck told me so.

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  8. hehehe, a woman after my own heart spotting the iPhone, go Audrey. Can I ask though, what was the 'human stuff'? That really tickled me:) Jen

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  9. TGIYIT - I can definitely see this catching on. Love this post!

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  10. @Happy13: Man that sounds like Audrey. They are SO going to get clocked one day.

    @jen: just a load of crap...TV remotes, dirty glasses, charger cords, a Christmas snow globe...you know, human stuff.

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  11. OMG you make me laugh everyday!! I am your new stalker and lovin' it!! Initally was reading all these doom and gloom blogs as we were going through a rough patch (umm..well hell) with our non-verbal 11 year old son...and alas I stumbled on you...now your like my fav STD..just when I am forgettin about you AH HA!! I remember and smile. OK NOT about the STD justabout you and your Audrey! Happy Thankgiving..and I will be watchin'(creeper alert...nahhh..just another autism mommy) ya!

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  12. @Christine M: "!!!" I know you did NOT just compare me to a sexually transmitted disease. Well...I guess as long as it's your FAVORITE STD. If STD stands for something else, then please disregard. Super Tremendous Diatriber? Sister of the Traveling Douchebags?

    Welcome and thanks...?

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  13. My dilema is that Audrey makes me want to scold GA. Wheneve we r hanging out with the two girls I get the cutest smile/laugh, eye contact, etc., after I've "corrected" GA on a matter. Then I want more!

    "What do you mean you can't stand up any straighter, Grace Anne? Try harder!"
    Tell Audrey I said that......

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  14. I wonder why we've never thought of getting the girls to skype?? They could sit there and have a conversation like, "you say it" "no, you say it"

    The bird constantly wants to repeat lines from her shows, "want mommy to say it?"

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  15. You are writing this shit down in a notebook (god forbid the computer crashes!!) right?

    Could "Where are the grains?" be the new "Where's the beef?" She could be onto something!!! Quick! Copyright it!!

    Why would you compliment someone as their new favorite STD?

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  16. @ryoko861...the STD was my inappropriate humor..sorry that's what I do best to get through...
    Maybe I didn't get the social story on posting a proper blog response...gonna google that now ;)

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  17. @Christine M: No worries! This blog could be alternately named "Inappropriate Humor That Gets Us Through". There are no rules!!!!!!!!

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  18. We need a sitcom for all this. PC? No. Hilarious? Absolutely.

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  19. Lynn...YEAH and thanks...cuz we are not really at the social story level yet (but we are working on using a dynavox...do you think the device can say "the Clap" ?) and how in PECS do you explain an STD? Even I don't think I wanna know!!! <3

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  20. @Aimee: I know. Poor Grace Anne. Audrey just dropped this one tonight "I like people hitting people". Great.

    @DaniG: Why didn't I think of Skype? At least LB has got her objects right.

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  21. Those are too awesome!!
    Is anyone who dresses up in a giant mouse suit on a daily basis well adjusted?
    My niece used to line up all of her baby dolls and scold them and put them in time out and threaten to given them spankings. The child has never had a spanking in her almost 12 years of life, but her dolls? Thank God they can not testify in court!

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  22. Love it, your posts like this make her sound like she has the neatest little personality!

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  23. You're too popular, man, whenever I get here you already have 5,000 comments in every post and I just feel like the stalker that I am.

    Can I be you?

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  24. Hahaha. Human stuff rocks.

    http://ficklecattle.blogspot.com/

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  25. All the human stuff. Best line ever. I so wanna hang out with her. Come visit?

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  26. Lynn, too bad Audrey didn't know GA when she wS in Public school in first grade. It would have been like front row seats at WWF for her.

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  27. Just remember it is a Disney rule that the costumed characters can not talk. So you could wind up having a pretty good time..:)

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  28. That's hysterical! Please let me know if you grab Minnie while you're at Disney, lol!

    Stopped by from your SU group.

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  29. We try to have quote of the day in my classroom for our enjoyment after school. Audrey would win with these gems. TGYIT is the best. Also human stuff. xoxo

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  30. I went on a "You might also like..." journey and found my way here. The computer was right. I also liked!
    A child I worked with also loved the sound of scolding. Her name rhymed with her dog's name, so, for fun, she'd scold herself with things that had been said to the dog. "Bad girl, [Name]", "Get off the table, [Name]." We tackled it by praising her with a scolding tone. "Good girl, [Name]!" "You're so smart, [Name]." "I can't believe you! You're brilliant, [Name]." Worked a treat. Child services stopped calling :-)

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  31. @Bubbe: I know at some point we will have to stamp this out...thanks for the advice!

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  32. I just found your blog and I LOVE IT! I can so relate as my autistic 8 year old wants me to repeat and repeat almost everything she says. She will also say "No repeat!" as she has heard me say this in the past. Also she is never happier than when the dog, the cat or her little sister are being scolded! thanks for the laughs. Don't have a blog so have to sign anomymous - sorry. Just call me Anon

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  33. @Anon: So glad that you found my blog! I've heard of other people whose kids have that love of scolding thing...not sure what that's about. Definitely not going to make her popular in school!

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