Thursday, November 11, 2010

Special Needs Blog Hop: Scootilicious and The Shiny Objects

AutismLearningFelt

This week we are supposed to share a funny memory of our child.  It so happens that my computer is (hopefully temporarily) muerto, and I'm using an ancient ThinkPad that I chose not to turn back in to my company when they got taken over in 2005.  How you like me now Oracle?

This computer is full of old pictures and videos from when Audrey was an infant and toddler, so I've been taking a (not always so enjoyable) walk down memory lane.  Some of the videos I haven't seen since they were first taken.  They are kinda crappy and grainy, but who doesn't love to unearth these little relics from the past that provide a window into life as it was back then.  Well, me for one.  Five years has never felt SO.  BLOODY.  LONG.

Audrey had a ton of gross motor issues and so was very late to reciprocal crawl and walk.  This video was taken when she was 13 months old, when she was doing this funky scoot on her butt to get around.  But she seldom even bothered to do that very much, unless she was particularly inspired.  The object of her affection in this video is the video camera itself.  Needless to say, we didn't know at the time that she was autistic.  I guess the fact that she was terrified to move out of a sitting-up position and loved shiny objects should have clued us in, but what did we know.



It's too bad that sometimes these memories become tainted by her subsequent diagnosis.  I'm getting better at seeing them for what they are, and sometimes am even able to have a laugh rather than a cry.  Sometimes.

32 comments:

  1. she is absolutely beautiful...and wow you have you hands full with a smaller baby too xxx

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  2. Larry Ellison wants his ThinkPad back. Now.

    Man was Audrey cute. (Still is)

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  3. The other baby isn't mine Jean! I can barely handle one!

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  4. She was adorable, still is, but I happen to be looking at an old video right now so it's was. I though I saw some social engagement in there.

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  5. Yeah, I agree with Autism Mom Rising. To me, you can't look at this video and think, "Wow, the autism is so obvious!" It's not at all! I saw a beautiful girl who wanted to play with a video camera. She seems engaged and social.

    My daughter had a friend that scooted on her butt like that until she was 18 months. Not only is she perfectly fine now, she's actually quite athletic and muscular now! Go figure!

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  6. my avery scooted too! we thought it was so cute and smart! little did we know it meant she was delayed in her gross motor skills! what a cute little audrey!

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  7. She's so precious!

    I understand as I have trouble looking at some pics when they were little; I don't go near the videos.

    Hi from the blog hop.

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  8. I had a million things to say about this and I deleted them all, so I'll just say: autism sucks. (((((YOU)))))

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  9. I get weepy when I look at certain videos and photos from when my Aspie girl was very young. Those are from the days when we thought she was normal. It's not that the autism was screamingly obvious and we didn't see it. It was hidden, just as Audrey's is in this video. But it was there, lurking below the surface. When I see those old pictures and videos I grieve for my child's lost potential. I grieve for the life I thought our family was going to have, that is lost now.

    Welcome to Holland. It has much to recommend it. But it's not Italy.

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  10. That's sweet. I love looking at old pictures and videos. Sometimes they can make me sad, but I try to look at how far he has come since they were taken. Hi from the blog hop.

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  11. I know what you mean about looking at old photos and videos.

    But.... her hair is so cute here. And I think she's proud of herself and that's why she's clapping. Love that!

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  12. Baby Audrey was so cute!!! It's true that sometimes looking at things with your 20/20 lenses can taint the memory for what it was - sweet and cute to watch her exploring the world around her, even if it was in her own way.

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  13. She is just gorgeous:) I know what you mean about looking back though, I find it hard to look at my sons baby photographs. Instead of being able to see the gorgeous little boy I keep searching for 'signs'. I am hoping it will pass soon *sighs* Jen (visiting from SN bloghop)

    http://www.thekingandeye.com/p/special-needs-blog-hop.html

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  14. I will say it again. That kid is cute with a capital Q! And so happy still!
    At every age! GA loves seeing Audreys baby pix/movies. She will be so exited!

    I agree tho, sometimes old video of the kids not easy on the heart to watch.......I hope that changes for us because another part of me could enjoy watching them for 20 hours straight!

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  15. Hi from the Special Needs Blog Hop. Your daughter is beautiful. Cherish those memories of when she was little and enjoy that beautiful smile.

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  16. I'm agreeing with everything above. Also? My son isn't on the spectrum, 'army' crawled until 15 months, STILL chases a camera at 3 1/2 and I watched him for signs of Autism every.single.day. There's no way to know. Audrey is divine! Those cheeks!

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  17. She's so friggin cute!!

    Owen did the exact same butt scooch. Never crawled. Wore out the ass in sooooo many pairs of pants.

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  18. Totally adorable! with or without a diagnosis. Thanks for sharing those precious memories. Stopping by from the Special Needs Blog hop.

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  19. Hey Lynn...what did any of us know. I look at the video and see a beautiful baby.. she's gorgeous. But I do know what you mean. We are all on an incredible journey and looking back can be hard no matter how far we've gone forward. But we're in good company ;-)

    xx Jazzy

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  20. My husband apparently did the butt-scootch as well, but I've been convinced for a LONG time that the autism genes are directly from him (not really).

    She is unbelievably beautiful in this video. And still is. Seriously, just THE cutest!

    But I do know what you mean about the bittersweet feeling of going back and looking at old photos, old videos, Before Autism. B.A. as we call that time.

    Of course, it wasn't REALLY before autism. The autism was always there, but it was more Before Diagnosis, when we still lived in blissful ignorance of how much our lives would soon be changed.

    You are doing an amazing job. TRULY. I mean it when I say there are weeks when your laughter and love keep me inspired.

    Lovin' that Audrey. At any age :-)

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  21. I do the same thing. I pore over old videos. But you know? Looking at her, she looks DUN DUN DUNNNNN: typical. At least in this video. Not that I'm an expert, but I think when you have a spectrum kid, you're pretty much an expert.

    She's so adorable! And really, that's all that matters.

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  22. OMG, what a cutie pie! As statia said, she looks typical. My kids would have done the same thing...reach for the camera by climbing over anything.

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  23. Videos are so painful sometimes
    For me for the other reason
    R had signs of ASD but he also had a regression
    SOmetimes it breaks my heart when I see what great reference he had
    how when I was taking a video of him he knew at 11 months that mama taking video was the main event
    At 12 months he is playing catch the ball with my friend
    SOmething that soon after he would consider pointless
    Its heartbreaking

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  24. So is so darn right cute! And I know what you mean about looking back.. Kai was the most sweetest baby ever... everyone always commented on how good he was. it seemed to change over night when he hit 18 months.. and the AUTISM took over..looking back you would not even think it was the same kid. It brings tears to my eyes

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  25. So stinking cute. I feel a bit wistful when I look at photos of the perfect toddling boy. Sort of calm before storm-ish.

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  26. Loved this little video! She is darling!

    Though we have pictures piled to the mountaintop of our daughter's early years, we didn't take video. We did not experience a sudden regression, so I don't think the pain of looking back is so great as it is for some. But certainly, there were early signs that we took as cute quirks. It wasn't such a bad lens; while we now have a better understanding of the causes of her differences, that initial perspective on them still works for us.

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  27. OMG is she CUTE! Love those curls :) My son did not walk until 30 months, and did NOT have any interest in doing so...we had to use fruit snacks....he had to walk over to get them! Reinforcers worked like a charm back then already!

    BTW, Matt Lauer had the cast from "Sound of Music" on the Today show the other day, and I thought of your post!

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  28. Are autistic kids cuter than the rest or what? I just came back from a totally pointless and really stressful appointment with a naturopath who knew nothing about autism. Juju screamed and stood and hit himself at the door the whole time. I came home sat on the floor and cried with my other son, who is 3 and held my face and looked into my eyes with a worried face. I thought of you and this post which made me cry some more. But it also reminded me that I am not alone, that we are not alone and neither are are babies. Thanks so much for your blog (and your comment!). blog love, Hattie xxx

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  29. Aah, that was adorable. I'm the same with videos, I never go back and look. I have no problem with photos, because I delete any I don't like as I go along. But video? I'd find that bittersweet. Maybe one day I'll look back.
    Visiting from SN blog hop.

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  30. Very cute video! Your daughter is adorable! My boys loved the video camera too. It was hard to take pictures, but my typical daughter wouldn't leave it alone either. Humm, I think it might be a kid thing.

    blog hop

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  31. What a cute video! Your daughter is adorable. Thanks for joining in the Blog Hop this week.

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  32. How adorable! I love how she scooches around like that. It reminds me of how my daughter got her nickname, Scooch. Before she learned to crawl, she would lie on her back, bend her knees with her feet close to her butt and scooch across the floor. She did this for about 6 months before she learned to crawl.
    Stopping by on my way through the blog hop.
    Hugs,
    Erica

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