Thursday, December 16, 2010

The Downers Grove Christmas Tree is Rubbish

Or at least covered therewith.  I have a feeling that someone thought it would be a "green" idea to use garbage found objects to decorate our town's Christmas tree this year.  Sort of a "one man's trash is another man's treasure" vibe, which would prove that these items could be re-purposed to good use rather than chucked into a landfill.  Except when the tree is taken down in January, I'm pretty sure that's exactly where they're going to end up.  

And so our tree is covered with old vinyl LP's, CD's, plastic bottles, paper plates, and takeaway containers.  I think that at least some of them represent someone's idea of a children's art project, but their garbage-i-ness is ever-so-thinly veiled.  And three weeks of snow, wind, and rainstorms hasn't done them any favors.

Art project or reindeer vomit?
Someone's Dad is gonna be pissed when
 he tries to seal the deal with Mom
and reaches for a little Air Supply.

Not even trying.
Spends its days and nights longing for
the nearby train station trash can.

One man's compost heap is
another man's Christmas tree. 
Either a dough-based art project
 after 4 days of rain, or a
severed coyote head

Audrey poses next to the St. Elmo's Fire soundtrack.
"Momma, tell me again about growing up in the 80's
and how John Parr was your generation's Bob Dylan."


  1. Hey! We have a severed coyote head on our tree too! What are the chances?

  2. If I were to ever have a tree, I would cover it in exactly the same stuff.

  3. Next year's tree theme--the lost art of 80's music! *starts digging for her Duran Duran and Flock of Seagulls albums*

  4. Oh my god Lynn! You win the photo caption award. I can't stand it. I wish I had your number so I could call you and have you listen to me literally laughing my ass off. No acronym there. I had to actually spell it out. Funniest part of my day. Thanks.

    Oh, and what the f? That tree is just ridiculous. Seriously. My city would be up in arms.

  5. This is hilarious. How would you like a column on Downers Grove Patch? You can find my email address there.

  6. Even Audrey is giving this tree the side eye... Stupid budget cuts for town decorations!

  7. This is both really sad and really funny! What were they thinking?

  8. Thankfully our town is not this progressive. :)

  9. I always considered Downers to be one of those fancy pants rich northsider suburbs. Guess not.

  10. Happy birthday Jesus. Here's a trash tree in your honor.

  11. Tough times in Downers Grove.

  12. Yeah, that's *really* caught the spirit of Christmas ...

  13. That's just gross! Sort of leaves you thinking that your town can't afford real ornaments. Nothing wrong with the real thing! Where were the ones from last year? I'm sorry but that's not an attempt at being green. That's an attempt at either to say a) look at how dirty out town is, or b)we had no money this year to buy ornaments. If they had ANY imagination, how about going to the elementary schools and having the kids MAKE ornaments out of recycled or "green" things. At least they wouldn't have looked like someone's dinner.

    What a sad little tree. Sacrificed it's life only to be decorated as a homeless person. *sniff sniff*. Makes Charlie Brown's tree look like the one in Rockefeller Center.

    I'd be writing letters to the town. Lynn, that is just SO wrong. On SO many levels!