Thursday, December 9, 2010

The Ghosts of Christmases Past : 2006

Hey-O!  2006 y'all!  What a festering pile of months that was, huh?  Audrey finally started walking in January.  Sure would have been nice if she could have pushed that up a month or six so that I would have had something to brag on in last year's letter!

Everything was cool for a couple of months, and then in March we finally got the official diagnosis that Audrey has autism.  But turn that frown upside down!  It's really not that bad!  She now qualifies for a more intensive therapy program of physical, occupational, speech, and developmental therapy...all for FREE FREE FREE!

Plus we get 24 hours of respite per month, so Steve and I get to have lots of date nights and have seen probably every movie released this year...suck on that!  If it wasn't for the generosity of the state of California, we might have missed out on such classics as Phat Girlz...or even Beerfest :P  Man, we will do fucking anything to get out of the house.  Oops!  I guess most people don't drop the f-bomb in their Christmas letters, but I'm fucked up right now.  Sorry, Jesus!

I'm not gonna lie...I hope that your 2006 was as bad as ours.  And if it wasn't, keep it to yourself.

She's still cuter than your kid, so go fuck yourself.

35 comments:

  1. Because I agree and she is cuter than all four of mine...I will go fuck myself. Thank you. I might even smile while doing it and I will thank you again. LOL! Love you.

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  2. I don't think I've ever heard or seen the year described as a "festering pile of months". ROFLMAO!!

    Now THAT'S my kind of Christmas newsletter!

    You're my hero Lynn!

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  3. LOL another great letter- why did u never send these out? ;)

    And honestly the cutest picture ever :)

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  4. Really you say ALL the things I feel guilty for thinking ....must feel freaking fabulous!! Insead I will go love another pint of ice cream...arghhh...need more of you! ;)

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  5. Man, that Audrey is cute. and man, that Santa is freaking me out.

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  6. These are the Christmas letters I wish I received instead of the "my life is perfect, and more perfect than yours" ones I receive! Audrey is unbelievably cute, and that Free Therapy- there are some "perfect" families that could use intensive free therapy!! I met their delightful brats at the university model school where I did student teaching.

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  7. If it makes you feel better, 2006 sucked for us too. Audrey looks adorable, as usual. On the other hand, your cheeks look a little rosy, almost flushed, in the photo.

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  8. @Brandi: You get extra credit for following instructions.

    @Christine: Not sure if writing them here counts as "saying" them...but I do feel pretty fabulous right now come to think of it.

    @sherri: I was hoping that no one would notice Santa.

    @BigDaddy: Go fuck yourself.

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  9. Too bad I didn't know you back in 2006 because I could have sent you a letter that might have made you feel better. :P

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  10. I don't even remember 2006. It might be a good thing! She is adorable and I have to agree with Sherri...Santa looks a little...freaky.

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  11. OMG, I am dying of laughter. Thank you so much. Now I can go to hell fully happy!

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  12. I just read this to my husband...then I read some of my favorite posts since he was laughing so hard. He asked for your link and he'll be your newest follower....look for Danny!

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  13. @Claire: I will see you in hell! Wait...that didn't come out right...

    @Mindi: Please apologize to Jesus for me. You're the only one of my readers that talks to him on a regular basis. Looking forward to Danny's comments :)

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  14. Audrey is beautiful! 2006 WAS a festering pile of months on this side of the country as well! Lol

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  15. 2006 was actually a good year for me - the last one before kids...

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  16. Audrey is a cutie! Santa looks might drunk, or is it just me?

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  17. You're right, 2006 wasn't that great but it would have redeemed itself if it had brought me a letter like this : )

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  18. Love it. Totally laughed out loud when I read the caption.

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  19. your 2006 is my 2010. this letter made me laugh. which is a christmas miracle as far as I'm concerned.

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  20. She is sooo cute! I love the way her hair flips out - some people spend a lot of time getting their hair to do that these days. :)

    Santa does look a bit odd, though!

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  21. Man, that is a creepy Santa... We have a family we know who has the most horrible things happen to them, and we are entertained every year by how they still manage to make their life sound awesome in their Christmas letters. They need to take a page from your book. ; )

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  22. 1) You got respite AND therapy simultaneously? Wowza. We couldn't get the respite until we'd made it through the intensive therapy phase, which we couldn't start until we made it to the top of the 18-month waiting list...

    2) At least she's not flipping off the camera!

    3) We got our diagnosis at the end of '06. "Festering pile of months" worked well for '07.

    4) What a gorgeous child!

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  23. psml say what we're all thinking why do ya! lol love your way with words x

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  24. The funniest one yet.

    And Santa looks scared of Audrey. Had she shit her pants?

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  25. She is very cute.
    I wish i could string together such powerful words. Thank you giving me an adequate description. I am working very hard on the translation of.
    Festering pile of months.

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  26. OMG. I am totally cracking up right now! Can you imagine sending out a Christmas letter like that?...Still laughing...

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  27. Man you set her on Santa's lap twice and she handed out great smiles! She's looks adorable.

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  28. @JoyMama: Her flipping off the camera would have really been the finishing touch...so jealous of your card.

    @Tulpen: He does look kind of like he's restraining her...I'd never noticed that before. I think she was trying to grab at his prodigious, Rudolph-like nose.

    @Lauren: Soak it up...it's the last one!

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  29. You're right. She IS pretty fucking cute.

    Best line ever: Sorry Jesus!!

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  30. I LOVE it! Sorta makes me want to send some hard copies out that sound JUST like that this year ;)

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  31. I am very offended by your colorful language!

    NAHHHHH!!!! But I had to come see after your note about losing some peeps.

    I was so busy staring at Audrey I didn't see creepy freakin' Santa until I read the other comments and then I laughed out loud so hard I peed a little on myself.

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  32. 2006 was one of the suckiest year of my lives too
    absolutely sucky
    it was the regression year :-(

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  33. I So love this. People totally whitewash Christmas letters yet this one is so authentic.

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