I have never been inside a Chuck E. Cheese.
It's true. I would like to think that it's because I run with a higher class of people, but the truth is that Audrey doesn't get invited to very many birthday parties. Colon left parentheses. And you don't go to Chuck E. Cheese on your own, right? My understanding is that you have to be dragged there at gunpoint and always to celebrate the birthday of some kid that has really horrible taste in food and entertainment.
I've been to similar places though. They always have names connoting wild jungle animals. Probably because the kids are encouraged to act like little jackals and you always come home with an Ebola virus. When we lived in San Jose, there was a place that was actually called The Jungle. They just put it right out there so there was no asking for refunds when you saw how hot and crowded it was and your kid ended up with a giant cockroach lodged in their ear. Whadcha expect? It's The Jungle!
A few weeks ago we were invited to a birthday party (colon right parentheses!) at a place called Go Bananas. I've never seen so much stuff crammed into such a small space. This place had inflatable bouncers, one of those ropey climby structures leading to big slides, arcade games, skeeball, mini-bowling, and fricking amusement park rides all within a space that was about the size of a Starbucks. There were bumper cars, one of those small dragon roller coasters, and a flying banana ride.
The flying banana ride in particular was so close to everything else you could feel it brushing past as you stood there trying to figure out where to shove all of those unwieldy stringers of arcade tickets.
|Audrey and Grace Anne ride the wild banana.|
If they needed a snack mid-ride, they could just
reach out and pluck it off of someone's party table.
Here Audrey demonstrates her mad skee ball skills and "eye of the tiger" tenacity...
When she wasn't riding bananas or giving up on athletic pursuits, Audrey could be found pressed up against that stupid coin-pushing arcade game. She had no idea of the point of it (which is?) and was just dropping tokens into it and not even paying attention to what happened when she did. Then she'd run away and leave behind the tickets that were spewing out of it. I guess that's one way to get a bunch of typical kids to follow you around wanting to be your friend.
These places are the definition of sensory overload, and I think we were all vibrating just a little by the time we left. Audrey's birthday is coming up...hmmmm, where to have her party? I'm thinking of a day spa, with a guest list of 1.