Friday, January 7, 2011

Bizzotch on Wheels

Big Daddy will make a comment about
what an incredible likeness this is of me.
Yawn.
Last summer I did a couple of posts about Audrey's school transportation situation.  First I tried to educate the ignoramus driver, explaining to her why she shouldn't start showing DVD's and fill the car with stim toys.  Then I wrote about what a bitch she was to me, and laid out my iron-clad logic for why no one should ever be mean to me. EVER.  But she was not interested in complying my Special Needs Parent Dispensation Policy.

That all happened in the summer session.  Starting in the fall, we lost the ride-along aid and gained a new kid.  So now there was no aid, 3 autistic kids, and one nasty beeyotch of a driver.

Overnight the SUV became a 3-ring circus:  kiddie music on the CD player, DVD's playing overhead, and a huge basket-full of the worst of the worst 18-month old electronic stim toys.  I was liv.id. but thought that maybe the new kid needed those things and I didn't say anything at first.  At this point the construction was still going on, and the commute was an hour each way.  Meaning that my kid is stimming on this shit day in and day out for 2 hours a day.

My first call to her superiors was placed when I made the trip to Audrey's school myself, realized that the construction was over, and made the trip in 1/2 the time.  Ms. Smart T. Pants was still taking surface streets the whole way.  After the requisite confrontation with her, Audrey did start getting home much earlier.

BUT now this had the very effect that I had warned her about in the first place when she filled the car with all of her bullshit.  Audrey started getting all weepy when she was dropped off at the end of the day.  OK, I know I'm a lunatic, but she is still usually happy to see me.  She was blathering on about balloons and cats and parties and paprika.  Wait.  Paprika?  I asked Nastypants if she knew what she was on about, and she just shrugged as if to say "Who ever knows WTF these whack-jobs are spewing out their pieholes?"

Turns out that Audrey was referring to stuff in a Blue's Clues DVD.  Now that the ride was shorter, she wasn't getting to see a certain scene at the end.  PREE-EFFING-CISELY my point in the first place.  I had it out with her big time right in the middle of my driveway, reminding her in the least polite way possible that this is exactly what I had warned her of.  And she says "But I show them the same DVD every morning and every afternoon every single day".  She says this in her defense.

So now I gotta put the toothpaste back in the tube.  I write a social story for Audrey about how she's not always going to be able to see the end of the video, blah blah blah.  And the next day when the car comes, Crazy McBitchington has yanked everything out of the car.  Cold turkey.  That's right, get 'em addicted to something they didn't need in the first place, cut off their supply, send them into withdrawal convulsions, and then claim victory.  "See, I told you they needed it."  Nicely done.

On the upside, it was one less Christmas gift I had to buy.

34 comments:

  1. Not to mention the problem she created on letting your six year old Spectrum child routinely watch a show made for three year olds....you said it, tooth paste back in the tube. Sheesh!

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  2. The world is full of Crazy McBitchingtons...glad there's also a few warrior mommas to kick their arses XXX

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  3. Seriously , you need to give me a heads up before you post things that will piss me off this much. I think I'd rather have the crack-addict bus aide back that we had a few years ago than this dumb-ass! You should have given her a Christmas gift. I can think of a few :
    -Giftcard to the "Removal of head from Ass Spa"
    -Smart lessons
    -Rat poison Fruitcake
    -regular fruitcake

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  4. Arrgh. Because Moe's school placement is not our home school, the district will provide transportation. I just couldn't see putting my little 3 year old on a bus and sending him off on his own, so I take him every day. The school is just 10 minutes away so it isn't a big deal, but if they sent a town car, I might reconsider. But a crazy lady in an SUV? That's what he's got me for.

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  5. Oh man! I'm sorry! That's just crazy!

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  6. That sounds crazy, DVDs on the way to school. Glad you set them straight!

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  7. Yeah..that lady needs a freaking attitude adjustment. What a winner..yeah, lets give three children with autism a new routine to strip right out from under them. I like Aimee's idea. ;)

    Sexy pic btw!! =P

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  8. You really don't play with others. When I saw the title to this post, I thought it was autobiographical. Didn't think you were referring to the bus driver with that colorful language. Especially since she seems so nice.

    Anyhoo, nice picture of you. When did you get those blue spots and floppy ears?

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  9. Oh my blood pressure is so high right now after reading that.

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  10. How is she managing to keep her job?? Next time you are going to have a word in her shell like let us know and we will form a support mob, er, sorry, support system, for you!

    Jen

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  11. Lynn, Coud you pick Audrey up yoursel? I know it's a long ride, but for the sake of you and the child, I think this would be less stressful. I can relate that you relish that last 1/2 hour or so of her not being home, but the driver just doesn't give a crap nor do the supervisors. Doesn't seem fair to Audrey or you.

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  12. @Casdok: That would be a character in Blue's Clues. I think she's the bastard child of Salt n' Peppa.

    @ryoko861: It's totally not about having more free time for myself. It's making the 25 mile trip four times/day. Things have settled in now that the stuff is out of the car and the kids are over the DT's. And Audrey shouldn't be at this school much longer. When we had limo drivers, there was a new one every week...but because I hate this bitch there has been ZERO turnover...it's been her and only her every single day since June 28 without so much as one sick/vacation day. Never fails.

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  13. OMG! CRAZY! I had it out with the driver for Jakes one year. He was getting to school late and was disrupting class when he did get there. Plus having to make up whatever he had missed. Like you said, one less christmas present to buy!

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  14. I saw the title and thought, "oh how sweet! Lynn's posting about me today". Can't believe you're still dealing with this bullshit!! Crazy. Can you pack your own "appropriate" things for Audrey? At least the ride is WAY shorter- even if that means less of a break for you ;)

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  15. I would hate to see the other applicants that were deemed inappropriate for the job compared to stupid walking. Because nothing says sensory regulation like blaring music, DVDs, and more flashing lights than a vegas casino. And she seriously showed the same damn Blues Clues DVD every day morning and afternoon - and had hair left? I would have found a very small cardboard box and just kept wrapping the sucker until it was a good size and given her that for Christmas - share the frustration!

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  16. how does the interview for bus/car driver go these days? B/c the one that drives Violet to school needs to be on your list, too. We pulled Violet and now drive her, after finding out that the bus driver pulled the bus over because somebody in a car was waiving her down, let that person come onto the stairs of the bus, asked for a child by name, was told the child was not on the bus, then left. Then the bus drove on to school. What.the.faaarkk.?? So now we're having FUN talks w/ the school etc. Good times. Couldn't the schools find better qualified people when everyone is so desperate fo a job??

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  17. SERIOUSLY? Wow. they can't just ride to school and oh, I don't know...ride to school? the dvd in car thing has always been a bad idea to me. Let's force more ways not to engage with our kids on society.

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  18. Ok, first of all I laughed so hard at "Crazy McBitchington" that my bell (big) pushed my laptop off my lap. LOL

    Second, that stupid cow!!!! Lucky for Audrey her mom's on top of things. Go, Lynn!

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  19. That should have said my belly.. not bell..
    that just makes NO sense. :-)

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  20. Ugh, why do the special-ed bus drivers have to suck so much? I think they have a special questionnaire for them when they're assigning routes.
    1) Do you enjoy making others angry?
    2) Do you have the ability to take the long way home, every day?
    If you answered yes to the above questions, we have the perfect route for you!

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  21. I don't even know where to BEGIN to comment on this post. I am laughing my ass off. You have quite a way with words!

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  22. Not that it compares to your situation but I must say this. C is in a car by himself with an aide. He is non-verbal so it makes it easy for this aide to doze off. He brings his iPad and watches videos to help pass the over hour long commute (which when I drive and hunnie I drive like an old lady) takes me under an hour. Anyhoooo...this week the driver asked me when C stays home from school can I PLEASE call earlier because then the bus garage can call him before he leaves home. S-U-R-Eeeeeee...we start the first of C's alarms at 6:10am....and stink I give really good gifts, and like often. Having been I'll with lyme's for weeks now I really let this get to me as I am worn down...thanks for some perspective today! :D

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  23. @DaniG: Yeah, since the big confrontation, she's been making like LB and bringing books in the car.

    @Bethany: I thought the same thing...isn't she sick of listening to the same crap over and over? She could've been wearing an iPod or noise-cancelling headphones for all I know.

    @Kim @cooperl788: Seriously, I do not know where they manage to find these people.

    @Kerry: TOTALLY. Audrey had gotten to the point where she was fine just riding. period.

    @Laura: Thanks for clarifying. I thought it was belly, but I don't want to assume...hee.

    @dluvscoke: I can laugh about it now! Kinda.

    @Christine M: Sounds like you are in a similar boat. With everything else we have to stress about, it would be nice not to have to worry about the stupid ride. I hope that you are feeling better soon xoxoxo

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  24. I'm with Jean - Go warrior mama!

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  25. The drivers have NO experience with special needs kids. I know...my mom drove a sped van. You pass the test at the DMV you are IN. Not that she was bad at all, just saying you don't have to have special training, and they probably don't even know what the heck Autism is. I do love that you said something, though. Can you come "open a can", as my German husband says, on my kid's school?

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  26. Four times a day!? Oh shit, I didn't know that! Missed that detail. Point taken though. Ugh, I feel your pain!! Jen above is right though, half these drivers are clueless about special needs kids. Just keep after them. GIVE 'EM HELL HARRY!

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  27. My husband wants to know where you got that picture of me when I have my period. I pointed out that was not a wise question.

    Where do I keep the body till the ground thaws?

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  28. Those bus drivers rarely know what they're dealing with. Ack.

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  29. I honestly can't believe this! I would definitely not stand for it either, and I am pretty easy going.

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  30. Oh I'm sorry! It is so important to have a nice bus driver. I've been lucky and generally have had good ones. Right now I have a great one who loves the boys on the bus.

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  31. Have you any idea what a strange experience it is to read your stuff and think 'OMG! Another human being on the face of the planet GETS IT!' And then I think 'What a wonderful world if one, yeah just ONE, worked at my kid's school'
    So today I shall celebrate the fact that I'm not crazy :)
    And I totally love some of the names used in this post. I shall probably re-use them at some point in time!

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