So while she can tell me what kind of cake her cousin had for her 2nd birthday (again with the cake), why she got mad at a therapist 18 months ago (Melanie made me draw a truck!), and how to drive to a place that she went to once 3 years ago, she cannot tell me one thing that she did at school when she gets home. One thing that she did that day. Like an hour earlier.
Yesterday she came home reeking of perfume. Sometimes they do community outings at a nearby mall, so I thought maybe they made a trip to the cosmetic counter. Here's a typical after-school exchange:
"Audrey, did you go to the mall today?"
"Did someone spray you with perfume?"
"Did you go to Macy's?"
"AUDREY! Did you go to the mall?"
"(whisper mumble) Yeah."
By the time I badger something out of her, who knows if it's even true? OK, so she's not very good at answering the direct inquiries, but I do get some 411 by other means...
Exhibit A: Sometimes she will text little news flashes from my iPhone. I have her teacher in my text roster strictly for school-related business like buses running late, or me forgetting to pack Audrey's lunch, or me forgetting to turn in a permission slip, or me forgetting to be home when Audrey's dropped off. Little things like that. So Audrey gets a hold of my iPhone and texts the following to her teacher:
"Jacob keep your hands to yourself. Bad boy!"Then she texts the following to the mom of her BFF and classmate Grace Anne:
"Grace Anne will not punch Matthew."So I naturally glean from this that Audrey's pummeling of teacher Jill is not the only fisticuffs going on in the classroom. But alas, her teacher responded that, while Audrey's gossipy little scripts are entertaining, they are entirely inaccurate. Mmmm hmmmm.
Exhibit B: Audrey scripts a lot of random things...sometimes she's repeating something that a teacher or classmate said to her and if I listen closely, flippity-flop the pronouns around, and read between the lines, I can get even more potentially inaccurate information.
For example, in the last video I posted, you can hear Audrey saying to her imaginary friend on the other end of the phone "Grace Anne didn't get any popcorn". OK, so it's not what you'd call a matter of life or death that I know whether or not Grace Anne got some popcorn, but it's the principle of the thing.
I get so little information that I actually find myself pondering this stuff...Is Audrey working the Lancome counter on her lunch break?...Did Grace Anne, or did she not, punch Matthew?...Can Jacob keep his hands to himself?...And for the love of God, someone please tell me if Grace Anne got. some. popcorn.
To be cont...