Monday, January 24, 2011

So That I Will Not Be Hunted Down Like a Dog...

You may have noticed that bloggers like awards.  They fly around the blogosphere until virtually everyone eventually gets one.  At some point, they were originated by some blogger who just pulled it out of his/her butt.  Which brings me to today's post.

Jillsmo from Yeah. Good Times. has shown just such flaming narcissism admirable initiative in creating this new Memetastic Award.  I've been blessed to have it bestowed upon me by the following lovely ladies:

JennieB at Anybody Want a Peanut?
Sherri at The Claw
Kathy at Butterfly Moments

Thanks guys!  It was also given to me by Big Daddy, but as his stated purpose in giving me said award was to "annoy" me, I don't feel that he deserves my gratitude.

Here are Jill's rules for this meme (apologies for the goes without saying that I do not approve):

1. You must proudly display the absolutely disgusting graphic that I have created for these purposes.  It's so bad that not only did I use COMIC SANS, but there's even a little fucking jumping, celebrating kitten down there at the bottom.It's horrifying! But its presence in your award celebration is crucial to the memetastic process we're creating here.

2. You must list 5 things about yourself, and 4 of them must be bold-faced lies. Just make some shit up, we'll never know; one of them has to be true, though. Of course, nobody will ever know the difference, so we're just on the honor system here. I trust you. Except for the 4 that you lied about, you lying bastards! 

3. You must pass this award on to 5 bloggers that you either like or don't like or don't really have much of an opinion about. I don't care who you pick, and nobody needs to know why. I mean, you can give a reason if you want, but I don't really care.

4. If you fail to follow any of the above rules, I will fucking hunt your ass down and harass you incessantly until you either block me on Twitter or ban my IP address from visiting your blog. I don't know if you can actually do that last thing, but I will become so annoying to you that you will actually go out and hire an IT professional to train you on how to ban IP addresses just so that I'll leave you alone. I'm serious. I'm going to do these things. 

**NEW** 5. This one isn't actually a rule, but once you do the above, please link up to the Memetastic Hop so that I can keep track of where this thing goes. 

My 4 lies and 1 truth:

  1. My poo smells like baking cookies.
  2. I just grew all my leg hair out and my husband loves it.
  3. I was raised by a toothless bearded hag.
  4. I once shot a dresser with a 12 gauge rifle just to watch it die.
  5. My best childhood friend was a rusty nail.

And the wonderful, beautiful, fabulous, awesome bloggers that I pass this auspicious award on to:

Erica at The Robertson Family
Bethany at And God Laughs
DeeAnn at Snippets 'N Stuff
Laura at Home is Where the Heart Is
JoyMama at Elvis Sightings

Sorry ladies...I mean, you're welcome!


  1. And are the cookies gluten-free?

  2. I'm not sure if that means that your poo doesn't stink, or maybe your cookies REALLY stink.. Either way, thanks! I feel so honored!

  3. Has to be number 1, hast to be :D Jen

  4. Well, you are in the freaking cold mid-west, right? Imma have to go with number 2. I figure anyone in the mid-west will take warmth no matter how it is generated: leg hair, facial hair, red adult onsies. Wait. This gives me an idea for a fetish film!

  5. Oh, sure. First the Bears go down in flames last night. Then you (inflict) bestow this award upon me. Coincidence?

    I think your second statement is the true one. Because I stopped shaving my legs in 1987 (as revealed in an earlier meme-tastic exercise, in which all the statements were supposed to be true) and JoyDad has never objected. Out loud, at least... Hey, he married me anyway!

  6. #5 - I feel bad for the rusty nail. You probably got more out of that relationship than the nail.

    #2 -Your husband is a lucky man. By "lucky" I mean "sorry to be alive".

    #3 - So is Audrey.

    #1 - No wonder your cookies taste like crap.

    #4 - The dresser deserved it. This is why your husband dresses like bedroom furniture and dares you to shoot him. See #2 above.

  7. oh stop! i cant believe i got one! and comic sans? could be THE most annoying font ever invented!

  8. I don't ever want to eat cookies at your house!

  9. Would it help if I told you that my cookies smell scrumptious?

    @BigDaddy: While I'm always happy to pitch batting practice, what's your guess at the true one?

  10. I know a guy who drove a Viper to the Arctic circle. That's normally the one truth I include in a bunch of lies on this game.

    and if your poo smells like baking cookies, please don't feed your cookies to anyone and stop baking cookies.

  11. I got this too. I'm the slowest blogger ever but there's a fire under my butt on this one cuz I'm scared-a Jill.

  12. OMG #4 just made me spit.


  13. I'm going with 4, because you are such an angry, bitter person. And what's wrong with #2, I do that every winter.

  14. Well I was thinking #2 because well, I know it's cold here, and that extra hair helps with the frostbite...

    but I know Josh doesn't love it when I grow it out so I'm guessing your husband doesn't.

    I'll go with #4 :)

  15. I'm gonna have to know more about the nail... Or your husband. Eh, I'm going with #5.

  16. Please tell me it's not #2. I am praying your personality was much the same as it is now and you had no friends, rusty nail excluded, when you were a child.

    Please tell me the true one is #5. Or #1. Or #3. Or #4. Just not #2. Please.

  17. You shouldn't air your mother's dirty laundry on the internet like that.

  18. If I thought there was a chance my hubs *might* like the care I took in growing out my leg hair, I'd vote for that one. Since he's wincing at that notion, I'm going for #4. Besides, I'm sure the dresser deserved it. Standing there and all....

  19. Please, it's winter, who doesn't grow their leg hair out?! You+gun=has to be true. Watch out Big Daddy.

  20. Well, you are welcome! I'm so glad to share this prestigious award with you. I'm guessing you shot a dresser once, which if so, and though I am not a fan of firearms, I'd love you even more.

  21. Scotch, Drambuie, and a twist of lemon...interesting childhood friend..Did you share with the toothless hag?