Monday, March 7, 2011

The One Where 4 Adults, 3 Auties, and One Normie Go to the Magic Kingdom

I knew that we were in for a long day when we could not make it past square one.  We were 5 minutes into meeting up with the Big Daddy clan and Audrey had to go to the bathroom, Lil Sis was waiting on line for an autograph from the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, Griffin was ready for lunch, Grace Anne wanted to wait to see if Alice was going to show up, and Big Daddy was looking for a place where he could rent a mechanized wheelchair for the day.

Suffice to say that I did a lot of texting from a lot of very strange places.  Here is a random sampling of my texts from that day:

"Meet us at the tea cups"
"On carousel then dumbo then done w Fantasyland"
"We r at the spray thing"
"On dumbo"
"I want on Aladdin!"
"I know right?  I thought he'd at least b ambulatory.  Sorry I got u into this."

Griffin is all smiles as he enjoys his shirt, while
Audrey plays with my iPhone.  There could not
be a more representative shot of these two.
Griffin, Audrey, and I ditched everyone else at one point and went on "It's a Small World".  We got in the express lane with the help of our awesome guest pass (more on that tomorrow), and hung it with our special needs peeps.  It was on this ride, while we were cruising in our boat through an extra-echo-y tunnel that I was introduced to The Laugh.  The much-blogged-about but impossible to imitate Griffin Laugh.  BWAHAHAHAHAHA.  AH AH AH AH AH AH.  AH.  Everyone in our boat and the boat in front of us craned around to see from whence the sound came.  And these were people who were already in "special" boats.  Hey, you in the wheelchair, take a picture it'll last longer.  Sheesh.

Getting anywhere at Disney is next to impossible.  From the moment that you decide that you want to eat something or that it's time to leave, it's a minimum of 2 hours before you will actually be doing said activity.  I'm not sure why that is, but it is no exaggeration.

Grace Anne rubs Big Daddy's head for....whatever
it is that a handful of scalp mung gives you. 
Mrs. Big Daddy and I waited in line for about an hour for "Chicago-style" hot dogs.  When it comes to "Chicago-style", I'm not really that into defending our honor as far as hot dogs.  Pizza and beef sandwiches, yes.  Hot dogs, no.  But having said that, these were the worst excuse for hot dogs that I've ever had the displeasure of paying $20 apiece for.

Not only were they expensive, but I risked life and limb to get them.  And this is where the Disney po-po story comes in.  While we were waiting in line for hot dogs, a parade started down Main Street...which was between the hot dog stand and where the kids were sitting as they waited for their food.  When we finally got our lousy food, I was desperate to make it back to our party.  I mean, I had left Audrey sans mother and in the company of Big Daddy...nuff said.

The AAM's and the BD's
I was determined to get to where they were and ran right through the parade route.  Apparently this is verboten in the Happiest Place on Earth.  I got no points for making sure that I ran between a bunch of "cast members" on stilts rather than in front of a giant pumpkin coach.  I was immediately accosted by a thug who came out of nowhere and lectured me about how I'd screwed up the parade and could have been killed by the 2-ton float that was nowhere near me.  WTF?  I do it all the time to get the good candy during our local American Legion Post 80 Memorial Day parade.  I pointed at Big Daddy and said "Butbutbutbutbutbutbut...I left my kid with that guy".  He gave me a horrified look, then a sympathetic nod, and skulked back to where he came from.

The day got exponentially better from there.  You can read Big Daddy's account of the day, if you prefer the insane rantings of a delusional sociopath.

He mentions Grace Anne's "Walk Like An Egyptian-Macarena-Booty Shake-Sub-Saharan Tribal Dance" which I actually have video of...with Audrey trying unsuccessfully to keep up.

Our 17-hour day ended like this...

...which reminded us for all the world of this...

I know I for one was ready for the sound of silence.


  1. What a great day! Your post was funny as hell! I loved your last text! hahahaha!

  2. Why does it seem like I am sitting down in every picture?

    What are you doing for (to) them that earns you "candy" from members of the American Legion Post 80?

    Did you know that Griffin has Trademarked "Butbutbutbutbut?"

  3. You guys look awesome! Those girls are too cute together :)

  4. I started reading Big Daddy's blog because of yours and that's the first photo I've seen of Griffin! He is such a cutie! So glad you got to meet up. Yes. Disney food is ridiculously priced and "nothing can go wrong at Disney" until someone interrupts a parade.... :) Thanks for sharing the adventure!

  5. OMG, Griffin is SO much cuter in person! BD, you are doing him a grave disservice with that cartoon! I love that you almost got thrown in Disney Jail, Lynn. Oh to have a video of that.

    And that dance...Grace Anne has the moves! Although I am pretty sure Audrey pulled a hamstring.

  6. I *really* wanna hear Griffin's laugh now... And if I could hear it in all it's glory in an echoey chamber that would probably make my year!! LOL @ the thug who accosted you! Sounds like you guys had so much fun!!

  7. A-fucking-mazing. That's all I can say.
    Your description made me feel like I was there- like I was a fly on the wall, or maybe tinkerbell in that little leotard she wears.

  8. I am just excited to see pictures of Big Daddy and his clan! I didn't know that was allowed!!

    I'm so glad you all had so much fun!

  9. i just want to point out that after watching the beautiful interpretive dance video, U-tube then comes up with "the worst parents in the world" video...

    I hate the Disney po-po. Bunch of uptight bastads, if you ask me. Our high school graduating class once got "arrested" for taking over Tom Sawyer Island on grad night. Talk about getting yer panties in a bunch...

  10. Ha, the "worst parents in the world" link popped up for me after the video too.

    I am loving these Disney posts. All of the kids are adorable and the stories are absolutely hilarious.

  11. Lynn, you totally ROCK telling this story!! Now, the hot dogs and the po-po all make sense. Audrey looks quite wise to save her energy with a couple little spurts of dancing in there - that bongo music was probably not her thing... Love the picture of Grace Ann and Audrey sitting next to each other!

    I was quite surprised how BD and his whole clan (especially little Griffin) are WAY better looking that those cartoons! Mrs. BD does look 16. What the hell?

  12. I just figured it out. You strategically posed me next to Grace Anne and then next to Lil Sis just to make me look fatter than I really am. Trick photography.

  13. I'm exhausted. I have to go lay down after all that.

    Too much excitement. I hate crowds.

    $20 for a hot dog. BITE ME (no pun intended).

  14. You know I love Audrey, but it does look as though she is being attacked by a mass of yellow jackets. Better get to work on a how to dance social story.

    And I worked at Disney for 3 months and couldn't take it. I refused to say, "Have a Magical Day" after checking people out. So not my thing. But my husband played drums there for 5 years. Much more magical than I am.

  15. You sure managed to pack in a lot between the 2-hour wait for rides. Good for you, for using your time wisely! Is there a recording of Griffin's laugh forthcoming?

  16. Thanks so much for the photos! Everyone looks as nice as I had imagined. The video is toooooo cute.

  17. See that is the business! Damn fine story -telling and photos as well!

  18. I love it! I's still picturing you trailing the scent of one thousand jasmine blossoms....

  19. looks like you had the happiest time ever in the happiest place on earth.

  20. I wish I could say that I wish I'd been there....

  21. I'm pretty sure I have spent thousands of dollars in fees for dance instruction for Grace Anne in the past 5 years.(Especially if you include the over-priced recital costumes they make us buy.)
    Do you think it's paying off?

  22. Definitely paying off!

    And, Thank God for the GAC!

  23. Hahaha, the girls look shell-shocked in the last picture. Stimulation overload anyone? But really, it sounds like an awesome day with fun people!

  24. Glad you had a good time. Love the pics and the story. I still think you are one of the bravest people.

  25. of the Big Daddy clan! I'm glad to hear how your trip went, not only for the entertainment value, but also because we're planning a trip to Disneyland. With two boys on the autism spectrum. You've given me hope that it can be done!

  26. @Jen: Yeah, Audrey was totally poofed when she did that hands on the knees thing.

    @MarsupialMama @connorchronicles: I really blew it by not having the video running to capture the Griffin laugh.

    @Heather: Everything is allowed when you don't ask permission.

    @ThisSideofTypical @Christy: I saw that worst parents thing...I don't need YouTube passing judgment on me.

    @BD: Yes. Trick photography. That's it.

    @Aimee: Are you kidding me? Totally paying off!! She has mad skillz!

    @Kathy: Oh yeah...Guest Assistance Pass all the way!

    @mamafog @Amy: It seriously went to need to be afraid!

  27. Sound and looks like you all had such a great time except for your encounter with the thuggish mouse police.

  28. Holy crap! Great pictures..I have heard that rubbing the head of a bald man can bring you I'm guessing the photo was taken AFTER you shelled out 20 bucks for the hot dogs...I think that they are made from bits of Mickey-which is why they are so expensive..