Monday, May 9, 2011

Another Norman Rockwell Holiday

I spent yesterday as I have the past four Mother's Days since I moved back home to Chicago:  taking my mother into the city for brunch with one of my sisters.  Fried chicken and waffle buffet.  Nothing but the best.

This is supposed to be a treat for me because I get to dine out without Audrey, and hence without worrying that if I take my eye off of her for a second she'll end up face down eating her way through a chafing dish of mac and cheese.

I made the mistake of joking to my mother that there should be some sort of statute of limitations on Mother's Day.  I mean, she's 77 years old.  Exactly how long to I have to fete her ferchrissakes?  She hasn't wiped my ass in at least 20 years.  I'm over it already.

Well, by the end of our lovely brunch she was declaring that this was the last Mother's Day that we would be celebrating, and that I was right, and 77 was definitely long enough, and what had she ever done for me really?  Oy.  No doubt she has already marked her calendar for one week before next year's Mother's Day so that she can call me and remind me that we needn't be planning on doing anything for her.

Meantime back on the home front, when the subject of Mother's Day came up earlier in the week, Audrey asked, "There will be cake?"  I told her what my plans were and that she would be staying home with Daddy and no doubt having an equally scrumptious brunch of kale and kombu succotash.

So every time that Mother's Day was mentioned yesterday, Audrey started screaming and running in circles with her hair on fire, "There's no food!  There's no food!  There's no food today!"  Seems any holiday that does not end up with candles, cake, and ice cream is just not worth celebrating.

26 comments:

  1. Indeed, doesn't she have it right? All holidays should require those things. And Fridays; I think Fridays should also have cake and ice cream. I can live without candles on cake; no sense in risking wax dripping on the frosting. Come to think of it, Mondays should also require cake and ice cream. The rest of the week we can alternate between the two. No need to be gluttons, after all. Maybe save Wednesdays solely for chocolate.

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  2. Oh, Lynn! I could picture all of this perfectly, knowing all the characters involved. It is so true and real, it is not even funny. But at least now the bright side is that you have material for your blog! Hasn't Hallmark invented a "Happy Best Friend's Day"? Let it be today! I love Mother's Day for all the Facebook posts that ignore the fact that some people can't have children and HATE the day for different reasons...

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  3. That sounds like my husband. No cake? blasphemy.

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  4. audrey has an excellent point.

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  5. Oh Lord, I can just see your mother!!! And my daughter went nuts when she found out the cake was not for her....

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  6. Pudding had the same reaction for the UK Mother's Day. She was just over it by the time this one came around. No cake, no point.

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  7. OK, so I totally feel that once your daughter has a kid, Mother's Day should automatically move on to her. My own mother is a freak about Mother's Day. I usually never get to celebrate b/c it has to be ALL about her. This year, not so much. Mostly b/c she was a total psycho last week, but also? IT'S MY FREAKING TURN!

    And I don't blame Audrey...I wouldn't want to eat whatever the hell it is you talked about, either.

    Katie actually obsessed so much over MD that Kai couldn't drop the ball. He wanted to go running at one point and she had this look of horror on her face and said, ON MOTHER'S DAY!? SO, I give her all the credit that for the first time ever, MD didn't suck.

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  8. LOL. The DH decided that ice cream for the entire family was in order for Mother's Day. Unfortunately, he waited until 1/2 hour before bedtime to give it to Little Miss and then had to deal with her giggling, squealing, and slamming her bedroom door for another 45 minutes. So, I'd have to agree with the "no cake" rule and add one little amendment... no ice cream either. Mommy officially wants a little rest!

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  9. That sounds like my boys. Every holiday needs cake. My kids felt that although they went out and bought gifts for me, that they too needed gifts. Does that mean they need gifts to tolerate me as a mom? And if so how did I not come up with that concept myself?!

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  10. Wow your mom's little drama scene about the last mother's day sup sounds like my mom's little tantrum the other day about keeping herself busy because she seems to get in everybody's way. I was like where is my violin.

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  11. I demanded cake...for breakfast...in bed. I feel Audrey's frantic running, may have been known to do such a thing when there were no booze to be found, sounds like you could've used some at your brunch:)

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  12. Oh noooooo!! hahaa Yeah I think you're in the CRAP-hole with your mom now. lol I have 4 siblings and only 2 of us care enough to CALL my mom. I guess its good I live across the country from my mom.. she'd certainly pull something dramatic like that lol

    Shame on you for no cake!!!! hahaa I made my OWN cake. The kids and i DESTROYED it last night.. we all wound up in bed early with cake comas lol ALWAYS!!!!! ALWAYS!!! ALWAYS include cake. Cake fixes EVERYTHING! (well, in MY world it does!)

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  13. I'm with Audrey. Every holiday needs cake. Actually, forget the "holi" part. Every day needs cake.

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  14. If you weren't going to have cake, you could have at least brought home some leftover fried chicken and waffles! Sheesh.

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  15. Makes me feel so lucky. My mom's idea of great mother's day, later in her life, was to be left alone. We used to drop off a card, maybe a homemade cookie (large size)for a treat, or a pretty little plant, give her a kiss and a hug, then promise not to bother her further. I already feel the same way about it. A card is fine. If they must buy something, make it a plant I can put out in the garden. Then please, leave me alone with my quiet solitude. It's so nice. :)

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  16. Happy mothers day to a fabulous mother
    P.S. I am not sure I like mother's day

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  17. When Audrey is all grown up, she is going to take you out for kale on every single mother's day. Then she's going to go home, hide in the closet, and binge on an entire Sara Lee dessert item. LOL, let the maternal guilt begin!!!

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  18. What, Mother's Day is supposed to be for us too? I thought it was just a day for my mother-in-law to complain about her card being late or signed in my handwriting rather than her beloved son's.

    Audrey has a good point, cake would make it all tolerable.

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  19. I love fried chicken and waffles. Tell your mom I"ll take her to brunch next year.

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  20. But she's right, you know.

    It IS all about the cake and ice cream.

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  21. This reminded me, whenever mine would want cake (or anything else for the matter) he'd keep asking "do you want some cake?"

    At first I kept thinking aww, my sweet little boy wants me to have cake.

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  22. We made two cakes. One for Louis - oops I mean me - and the other for my mum. They were both tragic, but honestly, kale?

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  23. Me? I honestly tell the family that Mother's day is the day I get to pretend I am NOT a mother. Don't bother me, because I will eat what I want, sleep when I want, read, shop whatever. All by myself. Hmmm...maybe a little autism in my branch of the family tree, too!

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  24. LOL! Like your mother really needs to mark that on her calendar for next year!

    You do have a somewhat valid point, though. You have equal footing with your mother--you're both mothers and should both be honored. Is there any way you can enjoy a mothers' day out enjoying really unhealthy (but yummy) food?

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  25. Is the fried chicken served *on* the waffles? Americans crack me up, trying to invent some sort of south-of-the-border version of poutine http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poutine

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