Oh Hoobastank. You made a stanky time in my life even stankier.
Last week I wrote my first in a series of posts about certain things that trigger memories of that most difficult time in my life when Audrey was first diagnosed. My first post was about the Nam-like flashbacks that I experience when I seethose odious What To Expect books, with all of their milestones that mocked me every month that they went unmet. For this installment, I'll cover the arts. Who isn't brought back to specific places and times of their life by things like music and movies? Timing-wise, I'm talking about the end of ought-5 and all of 2006. Besides Hoobastank, the other song that seemed to be playing on a continuous loop was that annoying "you had a bad day" song. At least that one nailed the mood.
I was pretty much in the depths of despair at the end of 2005, and my husband and I would take turns going to the movies to get our minds off of things for a couple of hours.
Instead of opting for escapist fare like Deuce Bigalow, European Gigolo or Saw II, I remember seeing a bunch of the year-end Oscar-bait stuff, one of which was Capote. Hmmm...I wonder why this movie -- about author Truman Capote researching his grisly book In Cold Blood and bonding with a mass murderer only to see him executed in the end -- failed to cheer me up. Go figure.
I remember sobbing all the way home and wondering whether it was worth it to be distracted for those couple of hours only to have reality hit me all the harder when the movie ended.
During this time, I was also in a book club and one of the books that we read was The Curious Incident of The Dog in The Night-Time which happens to be about a boy with autism. I hadn't yet told the ladies in the book club about Audrey's diagnosis, and I remember being very quiet when we discussed this book lest I give away any expertise on the subject.
I was slightly less quiet when we discussed The Time Traveler's Wife. I could not stop talking about how much I hated the book and its purple prose (yeah, I said that) and stupid sci-fi slash romance bullshit and who names their kid Alba anyway? I owe you an apology, The Time Traveler's Wife. I may have just been ever so slightly projecting my misery on to you. Unless you really do suck, then never mind.
As the years go by, the sting of these memories gets duller and duller. I no longer burst into tears at the sight of Philip Seymour Hoffman. I do still feel a stabbing pain in my temples when I hear "The Reason", but that's another thing entirely. And that guy who sang "Bad Day"? His latest tweet: "My new puppy is growing faster than I thought was possible. He is so funny. Watching him bark at a fire hydrnt." What a difference 5 years makes.