Friday, May 20, 2011

Flattery Will Get You Nowhere

Well, I hadn't planned on an addendum to my last post quite so soon.

Last night Audrey was up puking.  I kind of had a feeling that it was coming. She wasn't interested in eating anything, which never happens.  Especially when it's her favorite:  spaghetti.

She told me she felt sick when I put her to bed, and I was so convinced that she was going to puke that I put a towel under her head.  I went to bed  right after her, figuring that I was in for a long night.

Sure enough, before I could even fall asleep I heard her letting out a few of her patented warning groans.  By the time I got to her room, she was in full hurl.  I flipped on the light and did my best to catch what I could with extra towels that I'd grabbed.  Why is there always so much when it seems like they ate so little?  Hopefully you are not reading this over breakfast.  Oops.

Anyway, when she was in between rounds and finally realized that I was there, she looked up at me, with eyes at half-mast, looking like death warmed over, puke covering her hair, face, and nightgown, and said "I like your stripes, Mom".

24 comments:

  1. Oh, poor Audrey. I hope she feells better quick! And that you don't get it. Although, I am sure Audrey would graciously compliment you on the puke in your hair, all over your face, and even on those gorgeous stripes.

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  2. Poor thing! Puking is the WORST. Hope she feels better soon!

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  3. One of my dumber parenting moves: My son was about 5 and had a bug. We were in the living room, where I already had a trash can ready and waiting for him. For some dumb-ass reason, though, when he started throwing up (on the hardwood floor), instead of grabbing the trash can and putting it under his face, I screamed "Run to the bathroom!" The results? A river of 'evidence' from the sofa, through the living room, dining room, and to the bathroom. The trail also formed an obstacle course for me to navigate on my way to go help him.

    Had I just let him stay where he was, at least it would have been a centralized mess. That's one mistake I didn't repeat.

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  4. I've caught puke with my bare hands. You KNOW it must be love when you catch it with your hands and can clean it up without vomiting yourself.

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  5. @Alisha: I've given up on trying to get her into the bathroom. I've asked this before...exactly how old do they have to be before they figure that out on their own?

    @Megan: Never done that...that IS love! I always do this thing where I'm trying to catch it all in a towel and in the meantime I'm shoving it all back in her face and she's all gagging on it...which must be ever so nice for her.

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  6. Awww, poor kid. I can't believe she had the wits about her to compliment your pajamas. That will serve her well if armageddon is tomorrow..."I like your robe, Jesus."

    It helps grease the gates, if you know what I mean.

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  7. I've less of my fair share of puking kids, and I'd like to keep it that way.

    Flannery! HA!!!

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  8. Complimenting skin lesions and nighttime fashion through spaghetti wretch...could that child be any sweeter?

    I think you reach MomWarrior status when you can read things about puke or diarrhea over eggs Benedict and not flinch. Well, not with them ACTUALLY over the eggs. That WOULD make me flinch.

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  9. Wow! Those must be some stylin' stripes!

    Hope Audrey is better (and done!)

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  10. What a sweetheart. I have always wondered why throwing up usually happens at night. Think about it. The illness may begin earlier in the day and/or carry over into the next day, but the puking usually begins while in bed. I use to save gallon size ice cream buckets and put them next to my kids bed if I thought they might get sick. They work great if you happen to catch it or can get them to grab it before it's too late.

    I hope Audrey feels better soon and it doesn't go through the fam.

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  11. Aw, hope Audrey is up to snuff again soon. I also hopes she gets a redo on the spaghetti dinner. Poor pumpkin.

    And poor mom! Nothing better than cleaning up rancid vomit on multiple occassions. I never know what to do with the stuff the boys puke on: rinse in tub = have to clean the tub; rinse in toilet = ewwww; throw out = big money. You can't just throw that stuff in the washer. It doesn't come out. Gack.

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  12. That girl's got style to be complimenting you mid puke. That's when you know the social skills are working. ;) What a sweetie.

    I hope she's feeling better soon!

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  13. Poor Audrey (and you). Time for carpet-colored foods.

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  14. I hope Audrey feels better soon. It is zero fun being sick. : (
    Speaking of flattery though... I gave your blog a blog award over at mine.
    http://sashabreeze.blogspot.com/2011/05/butterfly-award.html

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  15. Just so we're clear, you were wearing pajamas or some other striped clothing, right?

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  16. Holy moley, that is pro. With charisma like that, this kid needs to be in politics! Oh wait, she's honest, too, isn't she? Well, it was a thought, anyway.

    And Kara, I had a good chuckle over that since I read this while eating cheese crackers and it didn't even occur to me to flinch until I read that!

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  17. I have two words for you--plastic tablecloths. I buy the clearance holiday tablecloths at Target after the holidays are over and when David is sick, I line the carpet/sofa/other exposed areas with the wipeable tablecloths. If it is too bad, I just throw them away and wait for the next holiday to pass. It is a very festive way to stem the traveling tidal wave of vomit.

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  18. Yeah, mine's 7 too and we've never mastered getting to the bathroom. In fact, I learned (the hard way no less) that it causes waaay more damage "trying" to get to the bathroom than if he'd just stayed in one place, you know?

    I love it when they offer compliments at the most random times!! :)

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  19. Aww hope she is feeling better....

    I have heard you do look amazing in stripes

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  20. ROFLMAO!

    Tell me you did everything you could from not laughing outloud in her face!!!

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  21. Aww.. that is so sweet! Poor baby, hope she's feeling better.

    xx Jazzy

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  22. She is absolutely the sweetest child to be woken up, covered in vomit, feeling like crap, and still compliment you. I hope she is feeling better! As for the age they master puking in the bathroom - I was a sure shot for a bucket or toilet by age 4, my brother (in his 30s) is still working on it.

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  23. Thank God kids say sweet things like that when we're thinking, "this sucks". Then of course I feel bad for it, but I'm sure Jesus will forgive my momentary lapse of perfectness. Hope she is well soon, and you stay healthy:)

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