Monday, July 18, 2011

Sh*t My Daughter Says

"Ryan is a bucket dipper.  He is NOT a bucket filler!"

So Audrey is walking around accusing everyone of being "bucket dippers".  I had no idea what she was talking about, and since she is known for sometimes spewing gibberish, I wasn't sure where this came from.  I could tell from the way she spit out the words that it was meant to be something of an epithet.

Turns out that the source of this is a book called How Full Is Your Bucket? that she is learning about at school.  The theory is that we each have an invisible bucket that is emptied or filled based on what others say or do to us.  We also each have an invisible dipper which we can use to fill others' buckets by saying or doing nice things, or to dip from other's buckets by saying or doing mean things.

Obviously this metaphorical, and the contents of one's bucket is meant to represent our emotions and general well-being.  When I asked Audrey what her bucket was filled with she said "stickers."  Apparently they are going with a literal interpretation at school.  Probably a good idea.

If Audrey is even half right, Ryan's bucket must be bone dry.  He is the arch-nemesis of Audrey's BFF Grace Anne, and spends the better part of his day with the singular goal of making her cry...leading us to coin the word "motherbucketdipper".

                                             
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"Marimba is a healthy ring tone."

Audrey has been using a lot of adjectives that are meant to be generally positive, but she's not using them quite correctly.  You will be happy to know that I also have a "famous nightgown".


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"I like you're playing on the computer so nicely."

My words being thrown back at me.  Do I really sound that patronizing or is she being a smart ass?


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"I love you. God Bless your day!"

Every morning, Audrey is picked up first for school and then another little friend is picked up.  His mother is just ever so slightly more Christian than I am, and this is how she sends her child off.

As opposed to me whose last words are usually something more along the lines of "And ferchrissakes, stop chewing on your hair!"  After which I scuttle back into the house lest any of the neighbors get an eyeful of what I haven't had time to change out of that morning.  Hmmmm...maybe my nightgown is famous.

24 comments:

  1. This is so weird, I say the same thing to my bird ALL the time. Well, it's less "gd bless your day" and more "jesus christ with the fucking hair in your mouth already!!" Close, right? Whatev. I'm a Jew.

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  2. I love the last one! I'm more of a "Have a good day! I love you!" when the van comes, but my youngest is still only 4. The scene that plays out before my soon to be 5th grader leaves is moer like "Are you SURE you have everything?" "I don't know where your gloves/hat/jacket/shoe is. It's not my responsibility to keep track of such things. You have a bin for your stuff. Use it." etc. etc. etc.

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  3. LMFAO!!!

    I wish I was your neighbor. We could reek HAVOC on that neighborhood with our kids!

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  4. During the school year my parting words are, WALK IN FRONT OF THE CAR, NOT BEHIND. YOU'LL GET HIT!!!! And now during ESY, well, Kai puts her on the van b/c I am all unshowered at the ungodly hour of 7:30am ; )

    On a somewhat related note, I seriously had a dream last night that I was kidnapped by a cult. Or, really, a church was holding my heathen ass hostage. On the upside, I had a rocking hot body and was wearing a bikini. Coincidence that Dani's blog was the last thing I read before bed....????

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  5. God bless our days indeed! I couldn't put Charlotte on the bus today for school because the other kid with Autism on her bus was beating the crap out of the bus driver and monitor. I have to drive her an hour in traffic now then sit in traffic another hour on my way to work. It's gonna be a great day! I can tell.

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  6. Too funny! Maybe Audrey will find religion!

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  7. My son, at about four, started most sentences with "Actually,...", like everything I had just told him was a big fat lie, and he was setting the record straight.

    And when he was three, he said, "He's peppering me" instead of "he's assaulting me" - any seasoning in a storm, I guess.

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  8. I love your posts Lynn
    Please post picture of famous night gown

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  9. Yeah, we were eating dinner the other night and I got called on the carpet to "eat all my veggies." I had to sit there and swallow my own words AND disguising cauliflower.
    I was afraid to say anything else for fear that would be repeated back at me.

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  10. My daughter learned about the same bucket o' love in school too. I Love "motherbucketdipper", nice.

    Mine is just the usual stand by..."knock it off", said in horrendous Minnesotan accent. Not pretty.

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  11. Oh great, that little motherbucketdipper, Ryan, sounds suspiciously similar to my own little bucket head. My last words ever day..."keep your hands to yourself!"

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  12. I like the title of that book. It says "for kids". Do they make a version for adults? I think my bucket would be gigantic and filled with delicious strawberry daquaris. Mmmm. Feel free to dip in my bucket if you need to.

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  13. The whole post totally cracked me up! They did some bucket filling stuff for my oldest, and it just confused him. BTW, do we get to see this famous nightgown?

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  14. Um, I guess you haven't been on Google lately. Your nightgown is famous. Not in a good way.

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  15. At some point we need to all get together with that bucket of booze and compare notes!

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  16. @Jen: That is so not a coincidence. You read Dani's blog and were thinking about what a heathen and how in need of saving she is.

    @K @Amy @BigDaddy: I may have to grant your wish and post a pic of my famous nightgown.

    @Lizbeth: Parents' dirty little secret: we think vegetables blow.

    @Cari: Ooooh, I love the MinnesOHta accent! Knoak it oaf!

    @Colleen: This whole thing was apparently based on a book for adults, because we only learn by metaphor apparently.

    @Alisha: My readers are a bunch of bucket dippers for sure.

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  17. I'm jealous of your famous nightgown.

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  18. I still think you need a "like" button. Clearly I have nothing to say that hasn't already been said.

    Your writing cracks me up. When is that book of yours going to be finished and published?

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  19. My son brought home the book "Have you filled your Bucket Today".... it isn't fully understood here, but I sure as hell know one thing I am totally using your "motherbucketdipper"

    Oh and for the record my entire neighborhood has seen me in my mismatched pajamas and slippers at the end of my street while I wait for the bus. Its not pretty. Not at all....

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  20. Ahhh, familiar with the bucket filling book. At our school one year there was a lot of: "be a bucket filler, not a bucket spiller,"
    And of course the bucket is filled with stickers. Of course. xo

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  21. I haven't met you yet, but I am one of Audreys new teachers. I am in charge of social time where we read and throughly discussed the book "Have you Filled a Bucket Today". We don't actually put literal items into a bucket, but I know if we did Audreys would be filled with stickers, and cupcakes! I am loving the "motherbucketdipper" new coined term. LOL!!! I am so gonna be saying that in my head when Ryan is mean to GA now! LOL. I will so miss Audrey. If you ever need a babysitter, please call me! HA! Audrey is hilarious! With love, "The Kitties" (Audreys nickname for me. Real name Kitty)

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  22. Unless I'm reading DYAC, I almost never laugh out loud while reading. But? "Fer chrissakes stop chewing on your hair!" Did it. So much so, that I'm sitting in the Kroger parking lot writing this instead of going in for WINE.

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  23. @Yvonne: Me, DYAC, and wine...high praise indeed!

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