Monday, August 29, 2011

Worry Warts and All

I am always a bundle of nerves.  Always.  Sometimes I will actually stop in my tracks and force myself to think, "What the hell are you so nervous about right now?"  And it will be things like:

"I don't have anything to blog about" or,
"I think my kitchen towel may be carrying scabies" or,
"Opening up this new bottle of hermetically sealed contact solution is going to make me .05 nanoseconds later than I already am." or,
"What if Beyonce has a baby girl that looks like Jay-Z?" or,
"Someday I'm going to die."

So you can imagine that when it comes to serious stuff that I'm not exactly grace under pressure.  In May I wrote about making the decision about Audrey's fall placement, and back in April about the push back that I was getting over wanting to hold her back a year.

I had to wait until just last week -- two days before the first day of school -- before we had our followup to the April IEP meeting.  I did decide on her classroom placement (partial self-contained/partial inclusion), but had to wait all summer to discuss retention and transition planning.

I came very close to puking before that meeting.  I won't go into the details, but long-story-short, I was able to get one of Audrey's teachers from her old school to go to her new school to help with her transition, as well have her inclusion be into a 1st grade rather than 2nd grade classroom.  The whole retention thing isn't a done deal and we will be revisiting it after the first quarter.  But at least we will start out that way and see how it goes.

There was also an open house last week for the self-contained classroom, which was the first time that I saw many of Audrey's new classmates.  As was the case for her two years of self-contained preschool, she is the only girl...this time amongst 9 boys.  But they all seemed like good kids.  If we make it through an open house without at least one kid prostrate on the floor with their fingers in their ears for the duration, I consider it a success.  And if said child is not Audrey, it is a resounding success.

I could have done without the one mother telling me that her son was expelled from his previous school for practicing his martial arts moves on his classmates -- seriously, why do people feel the need to be so honest with me? -- but other than that it was great.

Audrey had two full days of school after that, and she was by all accounts a rock star.  Someone asked her over the weekend how she liked her new school and she answered that she "loved it".  This is what all of the teeth-gnashing, gut-wrenching, hair-pulling, cuticle-gnawing, hand-wringing, and general out-freaking is all about.

I feel good about my decision and where she's at right now.  We are only two days in and I know how fast it could change and all go south, but for now I'll let myself feel a very unfamiliar feeling of (relative) calm.


  1. This is SO awesome!!!! I am gld it is going well so far. I hope for the first 2 days to go as well for Katie...ha. I will consider that a success! And, um, that other mom? Seriously? Although, K had a kid moved to the self-contained classroom from her inclusion class last year for doing the SAME thing. What's with the Karate?! This kid was severe ADHD, though. Apparently K just hitting kids, outright, wasn't as big a want self- contained, you gotta do the Kara-TE!

  2. That's a win, it sounds like. My wife and I are meeting with my daughter's (soon-to-be) special ed kindergarten teacher and homeroom kindergarten teacher tomorrow. I'm pretty compartmentalized, but mulling the logistics over in the shower this morning. . . uneasiness is creeping in.

  3. That sounds like a success to me! Audrey is happy, there are no bad notes home, and you are doing what is right for her. Major WIN factor here!! I am so proud of Audrey and so proud of you for making sure her placement was exactly what she needed. And what girl is going to say no to a room full of boys? ;)

  4. Yay! It is so hard to know if we are making the right decision for our kiddos, let alone when they have special needs. Slippery slope from great to down-right regression. You're a good Mama, and I hope this is an indicator of how the year will be.

    And yes, God help Beyonce's baby.

  5. Good job, Lynn. Let's hope for great school years all around.

  6. I hope the rest of the school year remains calm and happy. Sounds like you came up with a good plan, and that's about all we can do. The rest is up to Audrey and her teachers.

  7. So glad that you are at peace with the placement and that school is off to a good start. Now, back to your usual worrying. Carry on.

  8. Put a tick in the win column! Let's hope the trend continues!

  9. Non anxiety-ridden individuals don't realize that it's this fervent worrying, mashing of teeth, and nail biting that keeps the universe aligned.

    Well-done! I melted into goo to hear that she loves school. Her own words. Loves it. Congrats to you!

  10. I am so excited for Audrey. I'll miss seeing her at school but i know she's going to do so well, and make new friends. I'm excited to still be a part of her adventures via your blog! :)

  11. Yay! I'm glad the school year is starting on the right foot. We don't start until a week from Wednesday. I'm nervous about the new school!

  12. That's really great! It sounds like all is going well. Sadly, most of the terms about inclusions & retention are foreign to me at this point. I have yet to cross that bridge. I dread it, and it's fast approaching. My son is in a beautiful program now, with only six other children. I don't have the first clue what I'll do when it's time for real school. I'm terrified. By the way, thank you for voicing all of our concerns about Beyonce's baby!

  13. Lynn - Really good to hear. Connor's new program in his new school to date has been a disaster, and transition from old school almost non-existent...we go in this morning to discuss [read fight] with the transportation dept over his 55min bus ride to a school that is 15min away door to door...this is on top of complete lack of visibility into anything going on in his new class, when he is pulled out...and did I mention when they sold us on the program his classroom would be in the main building, and surprise when we started last week it's in a mobile trailer? argghhhh

    I'm so glad you're having a completely different, good experience with Audrey!

    Dave Bukovinsky

  14. This post makes me happy! Glad to hear that Audrey is doing well with the new school arrangement. :)

    She'll keep it fun wherever she is...can't wait to hear if there are any annoying bucketdippers in the new class she'll be texting Aimee about!

  15. Well, yay for Audrey! And totally with you on the bundle of nerves all the time over everything. And the nearly puking before IEP meetings.

  16. so far so good it seems?


    I love when pretty people have ugly babies. So now I'm hoping that her little girl looks like that fish faced freak.