|No kidding, my ass smells like ass.|
Anyway, the title of this post came to me in a dream, and I'm going to treat it just like one of those prompts and write a post around it. Feel free to join in with me if you have a blog. Or even if you don't. Cuz who doesn't have a good swamp ass story?
Hmmmm...I could go with that double-header that I sat through on a 100 degree day with my Aunt Flo. Or that 12-hour bus ride that I took from Izmir to Istanbul, Turkey when suffering from traveler's GI distress and not one of the "rest rooms" we stopped at had toilet paper. Or really anything that I would call a toilet for that matter.
I would write about those, but this blog really isn't about me, is it? Audrey's posterior is far cuter, teensier, dimplier, but no less swampy. To put it bluntly, she does not know how to wipe her butt for #2. There, I said it.
It's a skill that I have not really pushed her on because her fine motor skills aren't the best, and I'm afraid that she'll just get it all over her hands and then realize how freaking AWESOME that is.
So I'm still actually monitoring her in the bathroom to see if she's going #2, then laying her down on the floor like a newborn when she goes, and busting out baby wipes like I've been doing every day for the past 7 1/2 years. Is that weird? Don't answer that.
She does go on her own, like at school for instance. And that is where the title of this post comes in. Sometimes it's so bad I can smell it on her when she gets in the car. Crap.
|*Snort* Europeans are dum.|
Think about it...it's the perfect invention for autistic kids. They love running water, especially fountains. They don't need the motor skills to wipe, and they don't have to get their hands near the stinky stuff. OK, they may need some quad strength to squat. But even if they fall in, it just gets their butt cleaner right?
Another problem solved. Alls you have to do is find a place in the U.S. that carries and installs bidets, tear apart your bathroom to fit it in, teach your kid to use it, and watch your water bills skyrocket when they become obsessed with it.