Monday, September 12, 2011

You Don't Know Jack

Audrey has a new obsession and his name is Jack.  We are only two weeks into the year at her new school, but she pretty much decided from T minus 1 (the open house on the day before school started) that Jack was her new reason for getting out of bed in the morning.

I would normally try to temper such fanaticism before it got out of hand, but anything that makes her excited to go to school everyday is fine by me.

It is now all Jack all the time at our house.  Out of nowhere, she'll periodically burst into a big smile, start laughing hysterically, and exclaim "Jack!"  I would say that this is her first crush, but she's been known to invoke similar glee over her markers ("Electric Lime!")

She has acquired a disturbing Smurf-like tendency of peppering everything she says with Jack references.

"These cost Jack dollars."
"Jack hamburger steak!"
"What's for dinner?  We're having rice, chicken, Jack, salad, and mashed potatoes."
"We need more Jack-bell!"
Wishes he was as
cool as Jack Gallo.

Since discovering that our cupcake-maker iPhone app includes a letter decoration option, I now have about 2.87g of my 3g phone taken up with creations like the one to the left.

We have two books on our shelves that have the word "Jack" on the spine.  One is by Jack Welch, the other is a biography of Jack Kerouac.  Because we are just that eclectic.  Or one of them was a freebee from a work conference and the other was a gift and neither have been read.

So now about eleventy trillion times a day, Audrey asks me "What does the red book say?" or "What does the black book say?" just to hear me say "Jack".

I was going to close with some Smurf-like Jack-speak, but unfortunately Jack-talk comes slightly less cute and a lot more profane.  So I will just leave it untranslated when I say that I'm going to Smurf her upside the head if she doesn't stop Smurfing me off with all of the Smurfety Smurf Smurf Smurf-shit.


  1. I'll trade you Jack for being asked about Halloween 86 billion times a day.

  2. Oh, we can could set up a clearinghouse to have us all listen to another kid's obsessions!

    I'll listen to Jack and trade ya a discussion about the glory of the new Muppet Movie release this November.

  3. awww, that's cute. When is it too early to have the "keep your son away from my princess" talk with Jack and Jack's parents?

  4. I have now read "Jack" so many times it has begun to not sound like a real word in my head. I can only imagine how it is for you ; )

  5. I'll trade Rodrick from Wimpy Kids (a million times a day a third ones coming out right mom? curse IMDB, lol) and Christmas for Halloween, she's been asking about it since her bday in June. Life is certainly never boring or quiet is it? :)

  6. How sweet, her first real crush that doesn't involve cake-based foods. Does Jack know he has a new stalker? Has the restraining order been served yet?? Can't wait for the follow-up.

  7. Don't we all need more Jack-Bell? Totally.

  8. This post is Jack-tastic! : )

    If you've seen the Smurf movie, you know how they would respond to that closing, Lynn..."There is no need for that kind of language!"

  9. I think Jack needs a restraining order and perhaps some time in the witness protection program :) That is one serious obsession Audrey had got going there!! Does Jack even know who Audrey is let alone that she worships at his feet? I do love her unique ways of sneaking Jack into the conversation - Jackbell, Jack Hamburger. Any way she could IM jack, I would pay good money to read that!!

  10. Don't send Jack a text - or maybe do... It will be good for the next post. ;)

  11. Good idea, Bethany! Add Jack to your contact list, Lynn!

  12. Jack and Audrey sittin' in a tree
    Eating C - U - P - C - A - K - E - S

  13. Here's an idea. Maybe you could get Audrey a Jack-in-the-Box with a picture of her Jack's face taped over the clowns?

  14. I love the idea of an obsession swap! I wouldn't mind listening about Jack if you don't mind a couple of hours of Transfomers and Super Mario. Oh, and could you please read the ceiling fan instruction manual to my youngest?

    Jack should know what a cute little stalker he has!