Monday, October 24, 2011

Mom Version 2.0

I crown you Audrey's new mother.
For the second time in as many months, Audrey has informed me that after she smooshes me with her feet until I'm gone she wants her new mom to be Aimee, the mother of BFF Grace Anne.

Hmph. Fine.

It so happens that Aimee has two special needs children already, so as a potential future guardian for Audrey she has her pluses and minuses. On one hand, her plate is already kinda full; on the other, she's a well-lubricated (*makes bottoms-up drunky thumb gesture*) special needs machine. What's one more IEP kid in the house...there's got to be some kind of economies of scale, right?

It does bring up the sticky question that I try not to think about but actually do think about almost every second of every day of who will take care of Audrey when I'm gone. I don't think that she can really smoosh me to death with her feet, but there are lots of satellites falling out of the sky lately and what if one has my name on it? And what if I happen to be standing next to my husband at the time and it picks up a spare?

Actually that's pretty unlikely because my husband and I operate very much like the President and Vice-President in that we are never in the same place at the same time just for this very reason. Yes. That is exactly why we are never in the same place at the same time. Uh huh.

I'm constantly running down the list in my head. Audrey has no siblings, so that's out. I have two sisters, but they're both older than me. Audrey has two cousins that are teenagers now, but, assuming I can hang on for a few more years, they could be candidates later in life. They're good girls now, but...and this is where my imagination runs wild...how do I know that after I'm gone they won't develop some kind of atrocious taste in men and end up marrying Diddly Pete here?


Seems the only good answer is living forever. Which means I should probably put down this bag of Halloween candy and whip myself up a turnip-carrot-kale-beet-garlic-celery-cucumber-ginger juice. This one's for you, Audrey.

19 comments:

  1. We keep saying we're going to put our will together and we keep not doing it. It's a pretty big deal to keep blowing off, and yet. . .

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  2. I am a single momma and I worry about the same thing. Or worse yet my ex will step back in the picture after 8 years. I want to do a will to designate who will take him, but I don't have anyone. Just one more thing we get to tackle!

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  3. Gaahhh, yeah the satellites falling out of the sky worries me too. Audrey would not do so well with Grace Ann being her sister.......because they would no longer be BFF's.

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  4. My son, even at 16, has informed me again and again that I simply cannot die.

    No pressure there.

    This is the one nagging thought in the back of my mind - who will care for him, who will love him?

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  5. Out of all the topics my husband and I are great at avoiding.........we are the best at avoiding this one! Still havent done the special needs trust thing, funded or unfunded. Of course I'd say I'd take Audrey in a heartbeat, except I'd be afraid you'd stop hanging out with me for fear we'd be run over by the same bread truck.
    Also if it happens that I somehow escape the bread truck but it still takes you out, make sure that while youre leaving me Audrey you also leave me those impossible to find Dansko's with the little buckle on the side.

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  6. We're going with the live forever plan too.

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  7. We are horrible and don't have a will yet, either. We were excited when we finally got life insurance after having Ben. We have family, but, um, I am not sure I want any of them to take my kids. Maybe Ben will be willing to tack on an in-law garage for K one day, but the way things are now, not so much ;) I kinda do hope K can make it on her own. Lots of adults more severely disabled do it everyday, I suppose. I just have to make sure I have enough money in the life insurance to cover it...that's a plan, right?

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  8. Are they making robotic part replacements for us yet? You know like the Bionic Woman? Gawd, I don't think I'd really want to see what Lindsay Wagner looks like these days - probably would scare another 5 years out of me at least!

    Pass that turnip-carrot-kale-beet-garlic-celery-cucumber-ginger juice my way - but throw in some red wine - I hear that's good for you! ;)

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  9. I have that same thought everyday! Who will keep an eye out for my sweet girl? I mean it almost feels like a burden to ask anyone to make it their responsibility to watch over her. I will also have to live forever.

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  10. Nice post, Lynn. This is so tough to think about. We are in the same boat, not having anyone that would be a great candidate to take over for us. When I was single, I didn't care if I lived long. Now, I am motivated, not for myself, but for my son's sake.

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  11. Diddly Pete should really be all it takes for me to get my butt in gear to make up a will! EEEEEEEEK!

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  12. We're on the live forever and all in the same house plan - like the Waltons but with only two girls - one with autism. Daddy's plan is that no one moves out and if they marry - the husbands join our happy clan.

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  13. Why are you all ragging on Diddly Pete? His shoulders and chest are quite nicely put together. I think he works out some, even, but eats a lot.

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  14. Umm.. should I be offended? Aren't I the perfect canidate? Although, I do think the live forever plan is most ideal!

    (posted anonymous on purpose to see if you really know who would be perfect for Audrey...)

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  15. Looks like the majority vote is to live forever!

    @Anonymous: I believe you may be the perfect candidate...but who will take of her while you're at work career girl?

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  16. File this under things I don't want to think about today....or any day.

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  17. just another of the many worries that we have as special needs parents....love the way you write, your humor and wit give me an escape ;)

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  18. We have a solicitor who has a special needs daughter and she was excellent at guiding us through writing our will. Maybe finding a legal adviser with an interest in special needs would be a start? XXX

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  19. Ahem! I'm twenty now, by the way. And I fully intend on marrying a Diddly Pete lookalike as soon as I can get my hands on one. I'm sure he and I will be the most well-balanced guardians on the market.

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