I just came across an article about a special needs help line that, in addition to giving out service referrals and resource recommendations, also provides general support to parents of special needs children.
I can only imagine the types of inquiries and conversations that go on, and in fact I think I will do just that. So here are the Top 10 Things Overheard On The Special Needs Hot Line if I was staffing it...
10) I think I know what the problem is. Did you by any chance replace your original Baby Mozart DVD with the newer 10th anniversary edition? Because it's just ever-so-slightly different from the original and instead of teddy bears banging on drums there's a new scene with slightly different teddy bears banging on slightly different drums, and I'm pretty sure that's why he took a baseball bat to the TV screen.
9) Sounds like your husband is King of da Nile, if you know what I mean. He needs to get out of that shame spiral, own his truth, and be his best self for the benefit of his child. Damn, I miss Oprah.
8) Don't worry, it's a common rookie mistake. Next time you elbow a precocious typically-developing kid in the head, you'll know to make sure that his parents aren't watching.
7) No, that thing where you can drop your kid off at the fire station ends at 6 weeks not 6 years.
6) Oof. Sounds like you jacked your nephew just a little too hard if he claimed to be seeing "tinglies" for the rest of the day.
5) Yes, this help line is confidential, but I am required to report any plans to "take out" your school administrators to the authorities.
4) I think your only hope at this point is to get your sister-in-law to drop the charges.
3) You're embarrassed because your kid had a meltdown in Target? You. are. ADORABLE.
2) I've heard that hydrogen peroxide does a great job on poop stains and smells in your carpet, but burning your house down is a sound option as well.
And the #1 thing overheard on the special needs help line:
1) No, I'm not authorized to prescribe meds, but I know a guy...
Do you think I have the job? I joke, but if you seriously need support that reading this blog somehow does not give you (WHAT?), please go to http://www.mom2mom.us.com/ or give them a call at 877-914-MOM2.