I thought I should carry on with the tradition and say something equally inflammatory about my town's Christmas tree this year. I'm not nearly as famous as I need to be, so I figured that I had take it up a notch or five. So for the 2011 edition, I will say that The Downers Grove Christmas Tree Is...RACIST! Whaaaaat? Shut your mouth! Oh no you di-int.
EXHIBIT A:
 |
| Mrs. Claus or...Mrs. Butterworth? You decide. |
 |
| The white face isn't fooling anyone. |
OK, so maybe I'm painting Mrs. Butterworth with the same brush as Aunt Jemima. Is Mrs. Butterworth as racist an image as Aunt Jemima? Is Mrs. Butterworth even black?
So I Googled it and found a blog called Yo, Is This Racist? I can't find anything on the site about the person running it, but I'm willing to accept him/her as the final arbiter of what is racist...I mean, he's got a blog right? And a submission box labeled "Yo, Ask Me If Something Is Racist". And when someone named Anonymous asked if the Mrs. Butterworth bottle was racist, he/she answered as follows:
"Holy shit, yo, that shit is astoundingly racist"He said "shit" twice. Case almost closed. I have one more photo to submit into evidence, but first some-not-nearly-as-offensive-as-racism-but-still-offensive ornaments:
 |
| Cyclopean gingerbread man with a scrotal piercing |
 |
| Special needs parents could have supplied enough materials for a treeful of these. |
 |
| I'd like to think that I had something to do with the abundance of plastic wrap this year. |
 |
| Poor Mr. Bill. |
 |
| Owen does not read my blog or he would know that old AOL CD's with a couple of Christmas stickers do not decor make. |
 |
| I swear it was not me that pulled back the tin foil on this one. |
 |
| My annual dough-based-ornament-gone-bad Rorschach test. |
And finally EXHIBIT B proving definitively that the Downers Grove Christmas tree is racist:
I didn't think it was possible, but the good people of Downer's Grove have outdone themselves this year. That IS some racist shit, yo. I didn't know you changed your name to Anonymous.
ReplyDeleteNow I'm off to check your new friend's blog, because he or she sounds like someone I really need to know. That pesky "is this racist?" questions pops up for me all the time.
I am trying desperately to laugh very quietly. I don't want my husband checking this out. I am still hearing the phrase 'swamp ass' every few days. I do NOT want to hear 'is this racist?' all of the time!
ReplyDeleteI just had a brilliant (well, to me) decorating idea for my Christmas tree: instead of stringing popcorn for garland, I'll string wine corks.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, I can do this.
OMG! I love the cyclopian gingerbread man! I didn't even know that cyclopian was a word! That is AWESOME!
ReplyDeleteThat Becky above is not me, but I also enjoy the word "cyclopean." I used to use it frequently when I taught about the art of the Ancient Near East, and I applaud you for working it into this post. Well done! Becky (Healy)
ReplyDeleteWho knew racist trees could be funny? Still laughing at his response!
ReplyDeleteIs it racist if I make the Mrs. Buttersworth syrup bottle talk to my kids? : )
ReplyDeleteBTW, they can't stand it when I do!
bahahahah!
ReplyDeleteHoly shit, yo, that shit in the last picture is astoundingly racist!
ReplyDelete